A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Thanks to all who reply to this. My ex has been in regular contact with me since his girlfriend left him a couple of weeks ago. I was away for part of last week and he left messages on my cell phone to call him. I called him today and he informed me that he was just on his way to pick her up and it was not a good time to talk. My pride kicked in and I wished him the best as I do not allow myself to be treated like this. He said I had every right to be upset and angry but I was calm and dignified as I said good bye. I know there will be no further contact...ever but I am hurt and confused as to why he put me through this. Perhaps I was just wondering if anyone else has been through this and how they coped. I am feeling a little down and confused.
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female
reader, skoolof life  +, writes (10 July 2007):
 I have been through the same thing with an old boyfriend, but we actually dated and his ex would text or call when we were together. He would ignore her. But he went back eventually and left me to lick my wounds , it hurt alot, yes, but I just got on with my life. I went out with friends and soon was dating. (It didn't last but at least I was out there again.) He is always trying to approach me in Bars etc to talk, but I tell him to leave me alone as he's made his choice. He knows theres no going back to me!
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (10 July 2007):
 Hi there Anonymous,
That was a terrible thing for your ex to do to you! I'm wondering if you all split because he made the decision. If this is the case, then he probably knew that you would welcome him back with open arms and be a shoulder to cry on -- because you care about him. Instead of taking into consideration how you'd feel, he only thought about himself. He was extremely selfish. What he did was play with your emotions and you should be glad that he showed his true colors only after a couple weeks of getting back in touch with you.
I think the best way to get over someone using you as an emotional crutch when you are also in a delicate state is to think about all of the positive aspects of what happened. In this case, I would think about thinkgs like being someone you know can be counted on in times when a friend really needs you, know that you seem to have been a supportive girlfriend (why would he talk with you if you weren't?), be glad that he was honest with you and didn't lead you on any more than what he seemed to, etc
Try to take the negativity from this situation and turn it into something positive.
Also, I am glad to see that you wouldn't consider talking with him again. If he's going to come running to you everytime something happens in his relationship, it will only let you down. Surround yourself with positive people who don't use you, but those who actually care about you.
If I were you, I'd invite some friends over and try to get my mind off of the crap that's been happening. Maybe even a girls' night out? ^_^ It might also help just to rant about it to one of your friends and get all of this off of your chest. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, perhaps you could try writing in a journal or creating some artwork. However you decide to get rid of the stress is not important, what's important is that you do it somehow so you don't keep all of the negative feelings bottled up inside of you.
You'll be fine, it's not the end of the world. I know it probably really sucks right now, but it will pass. And you'll find someone who appreciates you, not someone who just seems to want to use you.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 July 2007):
 He acted like an ass, be glad your through with him. Just keep on being the class act that you are and you've won the battle, Babycakes.
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