A
female
age
,
*aryB
writes:How do I get over these angry feelings I'm having for my ex? It's been almost 13 mths. now since my ex left me after 7 yrs. together and shortly there after became involved with someone else. No explanation was given at the time other than he was unhappy. I do know now that he had his sights on her before ending it although, he denies it. He continued to tell me he loved me and even bought flowers for me the day before which he did often, right up to the bitter end. The last few mths. have felt like a rollercoaster ride to say the least but, I have tried my best to move on from this devestation.Although, I can never forgive him for what he has done I still feel love for the person I believed him to be. Throughout this past yr. I've had to deal with the fact that he became engaged to her two mths. after they became involved and have recently set the date to marry 3 mths. from now. He left me in financial ruin due to the fact that all the money I had saved had been invested in our future together which can never be recouped. Might I also, add that we too were engaged to marry. He has also, during this past yr. continued to drive by my house and has sent me random txts. which I have totally ignored- I have not spoken a word to him in over a yr. What angers me now, is the fact that I am hearing all kinds of stories of how he is doing things behind his new fiance's back- from hitting on other woman at work and the bar, drinking excessively before going home so she thinks he is only having a couple of beers at home with her and is still driving by my house. I cannot believe that he threw away 7 yrs. of our life and what we had built up for our future for another girl only to be decieving her, also. A part of me feels like I want to see justice served here- I'm sure she has no clue he is doing these things as I had no clue, either. I really am not a vidictive person and would honestly never cause trouble in their lives regardless of the pain I am feeling and I also, know that I should not care what he is doing now but, it trully bothers me that he continues to get away with it without any consequences- living his life happily while destroying everyone elses lives.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2011): I don't have an answer to your question. I have sympathy. I know exactly how you feel. However, mine was after 23 years of marriage. He tells me right before Christmas Dec.17. "I love you but I'm not in love with you, there's someone else." Yes, she is younger but only by 7 years. She works under him (apparently literally) and was married at the time also with a 1 year old son. He also had problems spending money, and expected me to just walk away with a offer that made me worth $1500 a year. HUH, no way. I got a lawyer and got way more. I still don't understand why this happened. The divorce was final May 20, 2011. All I keep getting are more questions, more whys. I am getting better day by day. Learning how to take care of myself for the first time. First time alone, I'm not looking forward to dating. Its a scary thought, at least I know that when I find someone, it will be real. Built on truths not lies. And know and have been told, about Karma, what comes around goes around, reap what you sow. All of those things. I hope one day I will get to the place when I really don't care what happens to him.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 June 2011):
 Karma will nail him, I have no doubt.
However, the anger and resentment you are holding on you (and honestly I don't blame you) is also holding YOU back. I'm sorry you feel like you wasted 7 years on this guy and I'm sorry the other girl has no clue as to how big of a douchebag he is, but with that said. He's not worth it.
If you choose to tell her, she will undoubtedly believe him over you.
Let him go, Forgive him - not for his sake but for your own. All this pent up anger, resentment and hurt will only hurt you and keep hurting you. Accept that he wasn't the man you thought or had hoped he would be. Accept that you DO deserve better. That leaving you was HIS loss.
It seems to me that he wants you to keep thinking of him, like he was some great prize that slipped through your fingers, so the sooner (and I know this isn't easy) you let him go and put him behind you, the sooner you can continue to live life. He doesn't deserve to be part of your life any more, so keep ignoring him. If people volunteer information about him, tell them to quit it. You couldn't care less. He is no longer your concern, so to speak.
And I'm sorry.
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