A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex broke up with me 3 months ago. I implemented NC and a month later she writes telling me how she misses me incredibly and wants to know if I've been thinking of her since she's been thinking about me.She continued to contact me often on after that and I decided to take things slow, do a little bit of pushing and pulling. She'd always be the one contacting me and wanting to talk while I made myself unavailable until recently since I didn't want to put her off too much and wanted to see if there was anything she wanted to discuss.One week ago she wrote me asking if I want to talk so we did. It went pretty well, after that we resolved to sending text messages since she I was busy. I sent her my last message when it got late and told her she can write back but I'm going to bed. She never wrote back. 6 days went by and I still never got a thing from her. Then last night I wrote her asking if she was there and she responded but all she responded with was a lousy hi. That's it just a hi! Wut's that supposed to mean? Is it something to worry over? I know she's in finals weeks so I give her that otherwise I'd be over my top. She could just be studying. What to make of it though? I want to ask if she wants to talk cause I got a few things to say. Could this indicate she's lost interest in communicating with me?Also keep in mind she was sad last week, the last two times I talked to her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): She was lonely and needed you momentarily..that is all. I agree with Raiders..completely with the below advice, your ex gf owes you no closure...you both got that, the day you 2 broke up. My suggestion is: Leave her completely alone and begin doing the hard work of recovering from all this. Plainly...you are still very emotionally attached to her. But to want closure from her is wrong here because 1) you both are broken up-she owes you nothing and 2) some people demand closure so the other person can feel their pain. That's wrong..it's just lashing out at someone, simply because they didn't text you..when you expected her to. Kinda silly isn't is. So stop over thinking here. She's a free agent, she can text anyone she wants. My suggestion: Just take what you learned about her here and accept no more texts from her. And here's another perspective, if you still love her, be gracious and step aside. We want the people we love, to be happy in their future, no matter what pain and sorrow we experienced with them.
And if she didn't text you for 6 days, then she obviously decided to move on in another direction. It's her life..her choice. So feeling upset that she didn't text you, is your issue not hers and we don't demand closure from others to appease our own hurt feelings.
You will find a 'detachment' some day and welcome it when it comes. Because that is crucial as it allows you to let go and move forward. Give yourself the gift of time to heal and get stronger from this. Feelings change and she has taken a different path. When we love someone, it's hard to step back and think sensibly, without that surge of raw emotion. So you need to embrace the loss, learn for this. Good luck and take care.
A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (9 June 2010):
 So you prefer she hides from you, thinking you turned into a stalker. What closure are you looking for if you two have been broken up for 3 months.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): Well I want to give myself some closure and discuss some things. I can't move on unless I do. I wouldn't think she would ask me to talk then suddanly change her mind and doesn't want me to talk to her. That doesn't make any sense.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (9 June 2010):
She is your ex and might not want to be mean to you by telling you straight out not to call her. Giver her space and move on she is obviously not interested.
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