A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i been being with my ex for a while and i just found out that he's still with his GF and that she's prego.. he doesnt know that I know yet.... what amazes me is that when he come over he act's like nothing we get along great, he doesnt try to fight with me or anything like that, although i have noticed that "something" is bothering him, by the way he look's at me! Is it because he feel's guilty that he's going to have baby and he knows that I'm in love with him???!!!........of course Im going to confront him soon and yes I'm going to leave him alone!! even though it's going to very hard...but after i confront him will he miss me? i know that sounds kinda crazy to ask but I think that if he misses me after i leave him, it will feel good knowing that at least he misses me.????....also should i confront him over the phone or in person??....i kinda dont want to do it in person because i don't wanna start crying!...I wanna be strong and solid when i tell him IM DONE!!!....PLEASE PLEASE ANSWER ALL MY QUESTIONS???....I really need some good advice!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): Agreed, be dignified, but be strong. Please..no melodramatics. It just isn't worth it as this whole scenario has never been about 'you and him'. It's been just about 'him'...plain and simple. And I think you know that. So..yes, you need to break all contact. One of the most important things he has to do now, is commit himself to his pregnant gf. He will need to focus his energies on his family in order to provide a good, happy future for this child. Tell him in a straightforward, strong way, what you know and that it's over...done. If you do this, then he can start stepping up to the plate and taking responsibility for his baby. The child will benefit from Mom and Dad loving each other. But by dating you, he hasn't done this so far, has he. Also..tell him, it's time for him to be a responsible, trustworthy man and get on with life with her. I'm not sure if he will do this...but let's hope for the sake of this baby. But the only way he can do this, is for you to tell him goodbye, forever and never contact him again. Once you have done that, sit and reflect about yourself and what led you into this situation with a man who did this, to begin with. Grieve, heal, recover. This could be the beginning of truely living a good, quality life and finding out 'who' you are and why you agreed to dating this ex bf again, in the first place. Learn from this...take this negative and turn it into a positive life path for yourself. The choice is yours. Take care, dear and good luck in your future.
A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (9 June 2010):
 If you come off all crazy and hysterical, I'm fairly certain this guy is going to remind you that he's your ex and doesn't owe you an explanation about anything. I don't know if he lied about his GF by omission or commission, but you are not in a relationship with this man and you knew that when you decided to keep seeing him.
Just call and say you don't want to continue seeing him out of respect for his girlfriend and baby and leave it at that. Don't start asking why he didn't tell you and declaring your love for him; it just makes you look crazy. There's no need for drama.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (9 June 2010):
 He might miss you, you guys were together and broke up and than he continue to be with you even though he already had a new girlfriend, so I think if he hasn't been able to let you go it cause there must be some kind of feelings for you.
As long as he knows its over it don't matter how you do. This will be the smartest thing you do. The minute you two broke up you should have moved on, he made you the other women. His girlfriend is now pregnant and he needs to be with her. I'm sorry you have to go through this but that is what happens when you become the third wheel. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): definatly do it in person. Yes okai you dont want to cry infront of him, try and hold it back. if hes your ex and he has got a child on the way you do need to forget about him... well not forget him because obviously there will be feelings, but the best thing you can do is to try and move on. You also need to decide whether you want to remain friends or let go for good. Hope it all works the way u want it. Good luck
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