A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex still likes me and we've been apart for over a year now. I can't help talking to him and i trust him more than anyone else in the world, but i don't love him like he loves me. I don't want to lead him on but i don't want to stop talking to him. What shall i doo? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): I know from past experience, there is no such thing as a best friend and an ex. If you get too friendly he will take it as being led on. You just cannot be just friends either. Just cut your loses and boot him out of your life. Or there will be trouble ahead.
take care
xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): That sounds like the way my ex was with me also when we broke up. He literally followed me around, rang my home, my mobile phone the whole time looking for me, telling me how much he cared and loved me but again like you I didn't feel the same way towards him.
I think your best bet is to sit him down and tell him outright that there is no chance of you getting back together and that you would like to stay friends with him.
Maybe if you did stop talking to him for a few weeks that would give him a chance to let everything sink in because at the moment since you are talking he still thinks there might be a chance!!!
I tried everything with my ex and he still wasn't getting the hint so in the end I moved away, new job, new life and it was the hardest but best thing I ever did!!
Best of luck everything tho :)
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A
male
reader, Passthrough  +, writes (17 December 2007):
 I can tell you from a guy's perspective, we dont take kindly to 'Just friends'.
Most guys are mentally incapable. I can voice this from experience. We can always agree, and try, but 9 times of 10, one is only fooling the other.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): Talk to him about it honestly. Ask him how it makes him feel, make it clear you don't want to get back together. Listen to what he has to say, and go from there.
There is a risk that he may not want to be friends after you tell him that it's not going anywhere romantically, because it's painful... If he says it's okay, but it seems like it's painful for him to talk to you about certain things, (such as other men), then don't talk to him about those subjects.
Just be honest, and keep in mind his feelings as well as your own.
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (17 December 2007):
 "My ex still likes me and we've been apart for over a year now. I can't help talking to him and i trust him more than anyone else in the world, but i don't love him like he loves me.
I think you should talk to him and say that you still like him but only as a friend. You'd hate to lose him as a friend as you trust him more than anyone and you like talking to him. However, you need to make it clear that NOTHING is going to happen and you just want to be FRIENDS (and nothing more).
"I don't want to lead him on but i don't want to stop talking to him"
Do you flirt with him? Or is he getting mixed messages from you? Or is he misreading everything? Does he think there's a chance (no matter how small) you two might get back together?
If so then it's very difficult. Like I said earlier talk to him and explain your feelings. Quite a few times I've been stuck in the "friend zone" and it's something he'll have to learn to accept.
If after your chat he can't accept it, it's probably for the best you have a break from seeing/talking to him for a while.
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