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anonymous
writes: Hi all, I'm in desperate need of help here as its really affecting my everyday life! To keep things short, my girlfriend and I broke up a month and a half ago. The reason for the break up was because we were arguing too much(it was basically her idea to call it off). Right, anyway, after breaking up, we're back to being housemates, as before we started going out. Thing is, she has been really cold and nasty towards me ever since the break up(ie, trying to pick my faults around the house, trying to get into arguments, flirting with other housemate, etc). Thing is, there is this new housemate who is also gay that moved in about the same time we broke up (there are 5 people in the house), and shes been getting really really really close to him. They're always together in the room, going to the beach, cinema, concerts, etc. They spend way too many hours together to be just normal friends. Is she just using him to be spiteful towards me? I'm sure she genuinely enjoys his company (as gay guys tend to bond more with girls) but isn't she being over friendly in a not normal way when they've only known each other for a month, despite whether he's gay or not? She lets him share her computer, tv, telephone, etc, which she never did any of these for any of the previous housemates. And in return, he drives her to anywhere she wants to go! Please dont tell me to leave the house as I cant. I don't drive and my current house is very close to everywhere U need to go. I try to get out more often but it's still no use, I still see them every day. And there is no point in talking to her, cause she's very stubborn. She'll most likely rub it in my face more once she knows I'm vulnerable. I've noticed that every time she does this to me, I have this resentment towards her in me and I don't want me to be like that, which coming to think of it, she acts as if she has resentment in me. I always thought to myself that should respect her as an ex and if i wanted to flirt with a girl, the least i should do is that I shouldnt do it in front of her, at least not now!Please advice me on what to do. I need to salvage what is left of my sanity before I really go insane in the house!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2005): I thought you guys broke up? If so, you do not need to care whether she is being too close to the gay guy or not. Just enjoy your life, find someone eles to have fun with.If she has resentment in you, she will tell you, if not, ignore it.
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reader, schlottjl  +, writes (13 July 2005):
 Women joke that we need two husbands- one to F and one to shop with, get nails done with, and talk about men/ the bitch at work (etc) with. There is no better friend than a gay man. They are the best of everything. They are friends like a woman but make us feel safe like a man does. Smart men appreciate the help and the break!
There is the problem of sex. That is their only fault. (To us anyway...) Oh I miss my beauty school days!
She would not be able to spend so much time with someone only to spite you. Your issue is that she never showed you to the love and respect you wanted from her in hind site.
When we are starting out we have rose colored glasses and see relationships as ways to become happy and satisfied. Hopefully we learn as we go that love is an action not a feeling. We give it even is we don't feel it and base it on a longer experience. We do it even if we don't want to at the moment because the couple is an account that we deposit credits into so that there will always be plenty on the proverbial rainy day.
You are lucky to see what type of credits a woman values. After all you don't want to waste the credits. If you only put in what you would want, so will she. Then the relationship dies and you never get to experience the prize (which is where the prize is found after a long and often painful ride.) Real love, trust etc is demonstrated in the good times and bad.
If you want her back, learn from this expect her to bruise her ego and be thankful for what the gay man can offer in life lessons. No- argue / yes sacrifice your being right and getting your way that is really romantic. Women like to be lead and if you lead her to bliss she will sacrifice all over the house!
(leadership is safe control is disgusting. We like to be taken like the most valuable prize. Treat us as such and straight girls will be "on their knees thanking you for being smart! It is not dominance, she often will have a scarey kind of power, but your power is found in keeping your amazing woman happy and in turn you very happy!)- secret is out. She is the prize and men that know is are chick magnets! It is what whipped really means.
Now go woo her! She probably wants you to find your balls and fight for her!
If it is too late, use what this knowledge gently. We do not need a heart breaker out there for the fun of heart breaking.
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female
reader, kirsty2hot +, writes (13 July 2005):
Hi i dont know much for my age but i can see she is most likely to be using you and the gay man. She will be doing this to make you jealous do I would suggest you break off the relationship, you do not have to leave the house but if she talks to you like dirt just ignore her and she will accept the fact you do not care even though you may be bothered do not show it.hope i could be some helpgood luck.
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