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female
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*isaac
writes: I met this guy one day who surprisingly approached me and wanted my number. I gave it to him and we ended up going out on a date (my first one). I am 26 years old. Come to find out, he is 34. Not a problem because I'm an old soul for my age and was very mature from a young age. While on the date, I also found out that he is an Undertaker. Eeek! And the last big news, he has 3 children...by 3 different women! Wow. The bad thing is, he is really a nice guy, who takes his work and family seriously. He's what you would call a "keeper." You know, says all the right things, listens, a real man. But I can't seem to get over his baggage. Although his job scares the crap outta me, 3 kids is a lot. And to top it off, he falls in love too quick as he has with me. I like him and think that he is "keeper material" but I can't seem to allow myself to fall for him as he has for me. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2005): I would be quite dubious about his intentions, and his true feelings for you. By the sounds of things, you haven't known him for long, and his quick declarations of love are making you question him. I dated a man who told me he thought he loved me after our second date, but I later discovered that he fell out of love with me just as quickly! Falling in love is a gradual progression as you start to know each other over a period of time, not just the empty words of a person who thinks they're "in love". If you want to continue seeing him, take things at your pace- don't allow yourself to be pressurised into something you're not ready for. You are right not to allow yourself to fall for him as quickly as he appears to have for you. It is a lot of baggage to consider and especially at the beginning of the relationship when you should be getting to know each other!
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reader, becky05 +, writes (13 July 2005):
If you think you can't handle his 'baggage', end things now as his kids will take over more of your life the more serious you get with him. If the thought of this doesn't bother you, by all means continue the relationship, but I know, personally, that I could not cope with a relationship with a man with kids.
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