A
female
age
30-35,
*ovinggirl
writes:My ex and I have been split up for 4 months after just under a 2 year long-distance relationship.We agreed to remain friends and have done so, due to the fact we were really close and told each other everything - more than we have told our closest of friends.One issue in my ex's life is the paternity of his potential child. He sent me a text message at 4am yesterday morning about her and continued to text me throughout the day, quite emotional and looking for advice and guidance - which I gave, as any friend would. He said he really wanted *me* to help him, hence why he was asking me for help, and not anybody else. He also spent the evening telling me I "should be up there with him in this nice restaurant" and that I am "welcome up there anytime."Around 9:30pm, he sent me another message asking me to go up and see him for a chat as he felt lonely. I agreed as long as it would only be about that and he wouldn't try anything on and I asked him where I would sleep etc and he was answering them genuinely, seemed very eager and detailed in his messages and even offered to come down here so he could get away from the 'hellhole' where he lives (100 miles away from me) though he was saying he was skint all the time. I told him I'd come up to him as he couldn't afford the petrol to come down here. No reply. Texted him again. No reply. So sent him a msg saying "Knew you weren't being serious, why lead me on like that?" And got a "Tut" in response.I continue to question his motives for around 45mins til he responds again at 11:05 with "I'm coming over chill out" and then "Yes I am coming now". I then respond and hear nothing back again! Call him at 11:40pm and he doesn't pick up.He's not here. And I'm pretty sure he never had the intention of wanting my help or advice in-person.So basically I feel he has used me for his own ego boost, knowing that he was in need of help (apparently) and I would be there. Which is true. I would do it for any of my friends - not just him.My question is - where to go from here? I know he will text me today or tomorrow as if everything is ok, but I want to let him know that last night was unacceptable and I won't stand for him using his sadness and life issues, as an ego boost to get attention and mess my head up.
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female
reader, lovinggirl +, writes (31 May 2010):
lovinggirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI texted him back as he was upset and needed a friend. I suppose I should have seen through it from the start, but I don't like to think bad of people...yes I guess he has a track record of messing with my head but what if this one time, he was being genuine and was really in need? I didn't want to leave it to chance. I just think I am too soft and nice to everyone. Need to harden up, as such.
The thing is with not texting him back - I was busy at work the other day and didn't reply to his text til I got home, 5hrs after he sent it - and he seriously kicked off at me, got really whiny and said he didn't want to speak to me.
I can't be bothered with that drama - but at the same time, I don't want to lose his friendship, because he can be a really nice, cool guy and when we were together, we got on superbly!
Thanks for your reply Rescuer :)
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