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anonymous
writes: Hi, Just want to be helped in my love life & don't know what to do now.I broke up with my girlfriend 3 months ago & seems that I can't move on and still want her back.She has been in 3 relationships so far, but me, I'm still single, thinking she is going to come back. Obviously she ain't, but each time I see her I just want to burst and tell her how I feel but I'm suddently stopped by something.Please help me.
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male
reader, silk2g2  +, writes (27 December 2008):
I am in the exact same situation and I know how you feel. The best advice I received was to concentrate on the things that I have instead of focusing on what I don't have. Take some time to learn what makes you happy. Learn yourself and it live everyday like its your last. In the end you have to worry about ur star player, the person in the mirror. If you are not ready to move on right now then don't but do invest in yourself and keep your head up.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): This sounds very upsetting. The first thing that comes to mind is that if your ex knows you, then she will know that you are upset. And that you are in love with her.Some people do need flings after a break up - three in three months is fairly high and counts for nothing really.I have a friend who is doing the same thing as your ex. His current situation is best described as plastic. And he knows it. I have had to bite my lip and behave in a superficial way around him, because quite simply he is unable to be on his own and build a more normal social life after his break up. Whenever I talk about genuinely about things in my life, he recoils. But then, he`s choosing second best in his own life and doesn`t realise there`s always a price to pay. You sound like a someone who is really in love and feels. If that`s the case it may be time to nurture yourself and heal a bit. May be put a time on this, let`s say another two and a half months before you meet with her again. Get the support of friends.By the way, whatever an act someone puts on in life, no one gets away with anything.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): Wow this is so deep , im going through the samething right now as we speak , first i would like to say sorry and that i feel your pain every bit of it, yes i so understand that you try soo hard but its hard & i mean sometimes when you are with someone for a while and he/she says they love you soo very much , but when its time to break up ,you want them back , its like all thoses " I LOVE U's " wasnt serious..dont feel alone.. ask god to help u , he will ! dont be afraid to ease her off your mind, i know its hard, but hey laugh and walk away.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): Hey I read your post and feel so bad for you. You cannot allow yourself to be that way. If she has moved onto different people then she wasnt that into you. It is very hard to love someone and them not return the love. I have had to deal with that myself. But you cannot Change someone nor can you MAKE them love you the way you love them. So it is better not to punish yourself. SOunds like you need to build some confidence up. yOu are worth more than that. Do you really want someone who wants other people? Or to venture out and find that someone who wants you the way that you want them? Sometimes you just have to move on it is hard but you cant wait like you are because you are just punishing yourself. Why did you break up? Is it something you did? If so I can see why you want to go back and try to make things right. But if you werent given the opportunity then there is nothing you can do about it, just make sure you learn from it and dont make it a relationship pattern. If it was mutual or her then that should make it alittle easier. Best of luck to you. FInd the good in yourself and bring it to the table of your future relationships.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2007): i think u should not wait for her, if she will come back she can also go again with other person ,how u can belive on her.just accept the reality.and make a partner who loves you really
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2007): In answer to your question i am one of those girls who suposively looked liked she was getting on with her life, and I will say it was literally 'looked' all I was doing was trying to make myself feel like I didn't need my ex as I was the one that ended it - As soon as you leave her alone she will come running and you will be the one who actually has got on with there life and she will be the one like me who will be waiting for you to decide if you want her back!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2006): In the same situation,is it fear of commitment ,the need for freedom,fear of control,the fear of getting to close,confusion,needing to find themselves,denial of there true feelings,feeling trapped ,in to minds not being able to deal with the relationship,you being to intense.
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theres no chance .she is not in love with you ,or has to find her own way ther maybe things she just has to work out her self maybe she does not no what she wants it will take time....
but give her the love to be free ,whether she is happy or going through meaningless relationships ,her mind and feelings are her own ,back off she knows you love her ,she maybe makeing mistakes she needs to learn from ,she may learn she may not,and just because she has learnt it does not mean she will come back to you.though she may nothing is set in stone ,keep positive love her dont move on till you can you may never that is your choice whether you are happy with it or not she is a spirit that can not be possesed,
you miss her you think of her you want to be with her,that face that voice i know... but no you are not to- gether at the moment for a reason,hope it is possible because it may or not be. your test is to live with pain over come it become a better stronger person. deal with life it is not easy with or without fairy tale endings ,emotions effect you,be happy for her love her even if you cannot understand why she is doing what she is doing,all will be revealed be patient or dont but no one thing you can not force her to do anything,do not push to much she will run further,a butterfly can be crushed if you try to grab for it to hard,,or a rose has bueaty try and grab it you may find thorns ,no that some things are out of you control,the universe is watching you it will help you to the right path as with her ,wish wish positive ,love ,do you best,it may take a bit of time but if she was to come back to you right now you would probably find the same problems refind you glow you sparkle,you have changes to make to your self remember who you were before the needy one appeared ,fear is a enemy,doubts may or may not help you,she needs to find if she loves you or if she wishes to be with you for the rest of her life respect her freedom(if not every she does)relationships are not easy let her come to you deal with that if or when it comes ,,,it maybe or not be, but your mind will still itself intime ,then what is ment to be will be .... life has coincidence ,cycles ,turn turn turn ,rebirth ,help from the universe may or may not bring what you want that is life .ask and you may recieve.nothing is certain,set your goals (they may change or not)be true to who your are and make positive changes if needed. look at your past mistakes would you make them again..are you sure?is she ?no more can be said time will tell ,the sign says no entry at the moment if you ignore it ,danger,so caution .eventually confusion will cease,mine has not as yet ,but im getting closer,till then i am not ready for her,im not even sure that is true.she does not want a reck needs you to be strong,you may have to pick up the pieces for her ,or she for you .it is a mystery,at the moment do your best good luck ,when you reach the top of the mountain you will see the view,love and light to you.damian
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2005): Just tell her that you love her and tell her that you want her back. If she really loves you then she will come back. Or maybe she will acually sit down and talk to you for a while.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2005): If she's had three relationships already, then obviously none of them meant much to her. She may be waiting for you as well.
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reader, youngone +, writes (3 April 2005):
Well I've had this problem myself and I would say just move on with your life and think of it this way: you can do better then just waiting for love to come to you...go look for it.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (31 March 2005):
 You are probably stopped by the fact that you don't want to get hurt and sense that you may. Why did you split up in the first place? If you only broke up three months ago, it is very quick for her to have had three relationships already. She seems to not know what she is looking for. You have done the right thing by not getting involved with someone quickly.Make time for yourself now. Realise that perhaps the relationship with your ex wasn't going to go anywhere anyway and think carefully what you would really like in a new relationship. Do you feel ready to have another one? Consider all this. You need to distract yourself from thoughts of your ex and attempt to move on with your life. Go to work, see your friends, take up a new interest. Let her do what she wants to do and you now do what you want to do. If you wish to meet someone new, fine. Go out and see what happens. Go online and do the same if you want. If you aren't ready for a new relationship, then do things you enjoy. Start a new project, go to a different place.Try to enjoy life. You will get there in the end!Good luck.
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