A
female
age
41-50,
*lessar
writes:My boyfriend and I broke up but we still talk and go out together. He moved into a new apartment and had a party. He didn't want me to go. Then on his birthday he made plans to do things and I wasn't included. He asked me to understand but I can't. He says he wants me around but always rejects me. Should I give him the space he asks for or start looking for someone else?
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female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (15 December 2007):
 I don't believe ex's can be friends right away. You need time for feelings to heal, and closure to kick in.
Both of you are going to want to have fun being single, be it flirting or more. Neither of you is going to want to be around the other while this is going on.
I would give it a while, back off, let everything cool down, and see if in a few months there is a friendship there to pursue.
A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (15 December 2007):
 I think your ex is asking you for the impossible. It's either friends or not friends. It seems he's choosen not friends so yes, move on. He can't ask you to be around for him and then ask you to understand why he can't have you around when you want to be around. It also seems like you have wishful thinking that things could go back to the way they were as you are asking if you should start looking for someone else. Start looking for someone else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007): I just think that your boyfriend broke up with you because he wants to start dating other females, if he hasn't started to already. That's why he doesn't want you around at party's and birthdays. Because he wants to be single and talk to girls but he knows he can't act that way around you because you are going to be hurt. I am sure this must anger you to hear this but it is the truth. What I suggest you do is stop talking to him and move on. Go about your life and try to have your own fun with your friends. Forget him. Be strong. Even though right now you feel sympathetic towards him, in a few months when it really hits you that he broke up with you for this, you are going to be angry. And you are going to be so happy that you did move on. If a guy broke up with me cause he wanted to be single, which has happened to me several times, I would just move on. And when you do, they always regret it.
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