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male
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anonymous
writes: Ok i've never done anything like this before, but here goes.........I just recently(1 month and 8 days) had a (what I thougth was great) 5 1/2 yr relationship end.(Not by my choice obviously) Everything was going good. I was planning to be engaged to this person in dec. I have always had a problem with expressing my true feelings about the whole marriage issue with her, due to the fact that my father was never around. Not that I am trying to lay the blame on anybody else, but.. Anyway she recently went to the doctor and found out she may have endometriosis. This scared her, but I told her we could work through it no matter what. I was there for her. So recently she took a night out with the girls and returned home the next day. I could not contact her most of the night, and got worried sick that something had happened to her. I caught up with her the next day and she seemed pissed that i got so upset that I could not contact her. She said she needed space to figure things out at this time and my inability to communicate my plans for the future had been hard on her. Then she said I was free to see anyone I liked. I am 26 and she is 23. I love her with all my heart and would give her the world if I could. I have tried to contact her a few times to no avail. We did speak 3 days after we split up, but she was short and sounded aggrevated. Then I recently went to her brothers last home football game, since I still love her family as if they were my own, Only to see her and one of my good friends(supposedly) leaving together. Not hand in hand or even touching, but they have never gone anywhere alone before. Her and her best friend told me that she did not break it off with me to see someone else, that she just needs space to get things into perspective. What should I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2006): Give her space & the benefit of the doubt. If she means the world to you & you plan to marry her then you have to trust her even if it hurts.
She's just gone thro a life wake up call, the worst thing you can do now is suffocate her. There are no guarantees but if you want to loose her then, don't give her the space & time she needs, don't trust her, do become clingy & needy, do be calling her all the time and don't pray for her.
Remember that there is freedom in love & that you can't be/give everything to someone, it's never worked, we/she were never made to carry that responsibility.
You can only give/recieve that which's been earned (through trust).
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2006): Thanks for the advice, and I will try and keep you updated on the situation
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2006): My guess is that you two met when you were both quite young. She must of been 18. She needs to enjoy some of her youth before settling down. Don't push her and maybe she will get over this or maybe not. I think it is better for her to do this now as after you got married.
If you two do get back together then you will have to learn how to communicate on all levels. Let her know how you feel. Whats the point of keeping it all bottled in, she isn't a mind reader.
When she went to the football game, she probably could of been seen with anyone. Don't read into this and make another problem for yourself. It was just company. Don't let it get in your head.
Take care.
xx
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A
female
reader, LISAG +, writes (14 November 2006):
 Give her the space she needs, if she really loves you and wants to be with you she will come and find you in time. I would err on the side of the fact that it maybe over. Her friends will obviously be biased and protecting her. If she sounded aggravated when you called then trust your instincts, she probably was...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2006): maybe the sickness scared her and how shes starting to view her future... she may have just bumped into your friend at the match maybe ask him whats up? tell him how your hurting and he may open up to you. I think you should contact her and openly communicate your feelings and plans for the future and see what she says.you may end up hurt, maybe not tho but at least then you'll know and you can go from there. good luck xxxx
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