A
female
age
30-35,
*ophie1029
writes:I am a woman and I was engaged to another woman for 2 years. She left me about 4 months ago for reasons that she won't even tell me. My best guess is that she had a break down. But she really won't say. We share our dog and trade her every other week. She told me yesterday that she was now in a serious relationship with a man and she never wanted to talk to me again. When I went to go pick up the dog, I had to walk through her place and it was covered in used condoms and sex toys. Now, every time I think about it, it feels like it's stabbing me in the gut and I feel the need to puke. EVERYTHING reminds me of the thought of her having sex with a man and it's killing me. Please help! What do I do? Does this ever end?
View related questions:
a break, condom, engaged, sex toy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo  +, writes (30 June 2012):
 Yes it ends, in time.
It would hurt as much if it was a woman as it does with this man, it is the fact she is rubbing your face in her new sex life.
You need to be the bigger person and not rise to it, not argue woth her or play into her hands as she is clearly trying to upset you so dont let her see it is working.
You will move on from this, it just takes time.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 June 2012):
 Well, would it feel any better if you had to think of her making love to another woman ? I really don't think so, in fact probably you'd take it worse. At least as it is now you can choose to see it as nothing personal against you- maybe she found out her true sexual orientation, or may she was overtaken by the curiosity to try a totally new experience, may she wants to be a biological mother... it does not have to be about you... if she had moved on to another woman, you'd think it was about YOU, because of something you were lacking, or some aspect ( looks, personality ) in which the other girl was better than you .
The fact is that if you want to move on, you've got to detach yourself emotionally from her, her life, her new lovers , whether male or female .
How do you do it, the same for getting over both genders.
Time, patience, courage, and faith in the future. Going no contact if possible, ( make other arrangements for the dog, this joint custody is not such a great idea even for the pet, but that's another story ) , keeping yourself as busy as you can, taking up new hobbies and interests, talk to your family and friends and let them cuddle you a bit, ... the usual stuff. It WILL end, it may take some time, but if you do your homework and keep your wits about you, it definitely will.
...............................
|
