A
female
age
41-50,
*odchild
writes:Well it's been three years and my divorce is finally final. I cried like a baby even though we separated for three years and I been still intimate with him. He had a a friend he started dating and I have a child father. Now we talk about getting back together I was helping him out as far as getting back on his feet, visiting and making him plates for work and for his mom. All Awhile he was calling me his Ex wife and dating. He even went as far as telling my brother not to tell me if he took this girl out. We do have a child in common that he is ordered to pay child support but yet he quit and never reported it. he only gets one night off the week and he doesn't even want to spend that with his child. I felt like i was being used and so i back up. Was backing up the right thing. I don't know I cried after i left the courthouse today. then later i received a text from him that was meant for his friend saying "tell your family it's over so they can stop talking shit about me being married. yet he told me he was talking to nobody.then in a way i think i should be relieved cause his family told me "arent you glad you drop that dead weight. I guess my question is how should I feel been with this guy for ten years. I'm hurt how do I overcome the pain and not be bitter. Please help
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female
reader, sadandlonely84 +, writes (14 January 2013):
Hi I just wanted to say I understand how you feel. I have gone through the same with my kids dad. I am even pregnant now with his 5th child living here at my moms. He uses me and always tries to have sex with me even while dating others. I am so bitter and resentful. I don't know how to get past it so if you have figured out how or what is best for you please let me know. Its been 9 years and I am so hurt by him.
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (17 July 2012):
 You separated and he started dating. Are you now divorced?
If you and he were going to divorce, why were you continuing to have sex? I suppose he wanted to end your marriage and you didn't. But him being intimate with you, while dating other women and lying about it is really a very shabby way to treat you.
On top of that he stopped paying child support. You are entitled to receive those payments, and if he won't do it willingly, the court can order the money to be deducted from his salary. I hope you have told the authorities he isn't paying you the support you are owed?
And how about his family telling you you should be glad to "drop that dead weight"! Obviously THEY don't think much of him!
You ask us how you should feel. We can't answer that, except to say "well, how DO you feel?"
I know his treatment has hurt you a great deal. Acknowledge
to yourself that you have good reason to be bitter and angry and that you do not deserve what he's been dishing out.
I hope you can come to the conclusion that you're well rid of him and free to care for your child and to live your life - maybe even start dating again eventually, if you choose - because you really do deserve better. MUCH better!
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