A
female
age
41-50,
*sjrr
writes:my ex left me 2months ago, and he got a new girl friend very soon. After I found out, I tried to confirm with him, he just said not telling me because he doesn't want to hurt me. I know its bullshit! but I still can't help missing him, I tried to save our love, but he said he can't come back for me caz he had new girl friend. But when I asked if new girlfriend nice and if he loves her? he just said she is very nice. So I went to see him for the last time, let him know I love him so much. but he said he wish me to find a better man. what confused me is he seems still care about me. this make me think we still have chance to be together, then next day, I thought a excuse to call him,but I heard his new girlfriend is aside and laugh aloud with him. I felt very hurt, so from then on, I tried my best not contacting him for the following one month.until today, I am packing up my stuff for moving to new house, see the e-keyboard which was left by him for amuse me. So I gave him a sms after one month not contacting with each other to see if he still need it or not. It's just a simple sms to ask.But he still doesn't respond me like before. it made me crazy, I can't help giving him another sms saying:"not necessary to be that rude,because I'm happy with my current life,so no need to want you back. don't know why you are still so scared to talk me even just a simple sms,that's it. in the end, I said he is a cowerd ,look down on him. I knew I did a silly thing. since this crazy sms sent out, the only chance that he could come back is cut off by me. though I'm still waiting for his coming back. what can I do now? I know I should force myself not contacting him any more, no matter what excuse. But is it still possible for him to come back? or he is really get sick of me now? please help me!!! I'm really very very sad and helpless at this moment!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xsjrr +, writes (22 August 2008):
xsjrr is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi LonelyButNotAlone,
Before I thought why he gets angry is just because he still cares about how I think him. Now it seems not, I think you are right, he got angry just because he only loves himself.
Maybe I'd better consider ignoring him. Thank you very much...
A
male
reader, LonelyButNotAlone  +, writes (22 August 2008):
 He's got no right to feel angry. He's merely re-directing things on to you because he knows he's being unfair. He's acting extremely immature about all of this. I'm sorry, it must be very frustrating and painful.
You're sure to find someone better who will treat you well and with the respect you deserve. Nobody deserves to be given a cold shoulder like this and with no explanation.
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A
female
reader, xsjrr +, writes (22 August 2008):
xsjrr is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, all,
I received his sms this morning , it is supprised me a lot. he seems very angry from his sms, he said he didn't see this sms until this morning. and say "sorry u feel that way and I'm not a coward" in the end he says "bye". I know when he says bye always means no seeing any more and he always choosed to say "see you" before
I can say nothing,just feeling sad and depressed... I only can tell you all my feeling because it helps me to feel better from your encouraging comments...
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A
female
reader, xsjrr +, writes (22 August 2008):
xsjrr is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much, LonelyButNotAlone, the anonymous reader,and Tisha-1.
Your kind comments are very helpful. I still expected him back before, Now I realize it's very stupid amd impossible to want him back. I will try my best to move on, though it is very hard at this moment.... I also wish Ex would regret what he has done to me one day!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 August 2008):
 Hi, it's so hard to be dumped without being given a chance to save the relationship. I have to agree with LonelyButNotAlone (LBNA) that he might have been speaking with his new girlfriend before he actually ended it with you. I'm also sorry to say that I think he has moved on from you and most likely will not want you back. Again, LBNA has an excellent point about your ex's comment that he wishes you find a better man. That tells me that he's already decided he's not the man for you.
I think I would give him up as a lost cause and move on as best I could. Tell your friends and family that you need support in dealing with the break up and to keep you busy as possible. Do not give in to the temptation to make contact with your ex, this will only prolong the feeling of hope that you are nurturing, and I think that you're hoping in vain. If he's got a new girlfriend and isn't responding to your text, he is through with you, sorry to be so blunt about it.
Chin up, and be satisfied that you have done everything you could. It's just out of your hands and not worth fretting over any more. I hope you get over him quickly and find a great new man who will make you forget you even had an ex.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2008): I Have been in exactly the same situation and right now your probably thinking things cant get any worse and nothing matters apart from this person and the love you once shared.
im afraid you need to delete his number and get rid of any contact details you have for him, its very hard and for a few days maybe even months after you will wonder why you deleted them, but give it a little more time and you will think of him less and less, if not you will contact him again and then be wondering why he hasnt txt back it will get to you again (as it drove me mad)
but eventually you will move on and find someone who is deserving of you and will treat you properly.
"No man is worth your tears and the one who is will never make you cry"
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A
male
reader, LonelyButNotAlone +, writes (21 August 2008):
If he hooked up with someone very quickly after breaking up with you, there's a possibility that he may have been seeing (or at least speaking) with that person before the break-up.
I'm sure that he still cares about you, but his comments about "wanting you to find a better man" leads me to think that his reasons for breaking up with you could be selfishly motivated and he feels guilty for hurting you in the process of satisfying his wants.
Now, with him avoiding your sms, it sounds like now he's trying to completely shut you out of his life to wash away that guilt.
You're completely right. It is cowardly to just close off contact.
At this point, there really isn't much you can do besides try to move on. It's hard... but just try to keep your head up.
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