A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have not seen my ex-boyfriend in nearly 6 years. During that six years, I have had two very serious relationships and he was engaged (and broke it off) and then living with a girlfriend (and then moved away from her.) He currently moved back to the state we are both originally from and have a lot of history together in. He was living nearly 20 hours away with his girlfriend, but moved home to save money and get a better job. His plans are to transfer his job back to where his g/f is once he establishes himself a bit more.During this process, he and I have been hanging out as friends. Although, i don't believe I have ever truly gotten over him. Being around him brings back many memories and I have never felt like this for anyone before. We broke up long ago, because we just wanted different things at the time.Over the past month that he was home, he has kissed me twice. The first time, he ended up saying it was a "mistake," because he really wanted to try to make things work in his long distance relationship. Three weeks later, it happened again. This time he said he wanted it to happen, but he still feels like he really needs to try to make his LDR work. I told him that obviously we cannot hang out as friends and maybe I should back off for a bit and let him figure it out. He said he still wanted us to hang out.My questions: Do I continue hanging out with him and see what happens? I do still love him, but feel awful that he has a girlfriend and has kissed me. At the same time, he had many opportunities to tell me he didn't want to hangout anymore...and would he have really moved so far away from someone that he has something so "good" with? I feel like the answer should be clear, but when so much emotion and history is involved, I can't help but think that he is back in my life for a reason. Any advice?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (24 January 2009):
This is a difficult one.
I think you have to do the right thing here and back off and not hang out with him.
The problem is that he needs to decide between the 2 or you. He won't do that if he has her at home and you next to him. He'll have the best of both and will not want to end either.
Back off and tell him you want him but you want him single and not with anyone else.
If he is meant to be with you then he will miss you so much and come and get you. If not then he wasn't worth it anyway.
Good Luck!! xx
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