A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I dated for about ten months and broke up in the beginning of September. He was the crazy, jealous, obsessive type who was very controlling and would get angry about everything. He didn't have a job, lost his license, and i had to pay for everything and drive everywhere. We fought and broke up almost daily. I had to change my number so he would leave me alone but he keeps making myspaces (about 10 at this point) to contact me (I'll block one and he will just make another). It seems like whatever i do he will just not stop. I've tried ignoring him, being nice, being mean, acting like i dont care, etc. I'm sure i have made it clear i dont want to talk to him just because i block him and changed my number and I don't see why he won't stop. I'm really worried he'll do something crazy since he still doesnt seem to be over it. I'd really like some advice on what to do or what to say to him. He's definitely slowed down since the beginning but its been about four months at this point and in my opinion he should be over it.
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broke up, jealous, myspace, stalking Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (4 January 2010):
I'm pretty sure the police would rather go and have a word now, than wait for him to do something bad. Even if they any take any formal action at this point.
Tell him to leave you alone or you'll get the police involved, it should be enough to scare him off at any rate.
If he does carry on then go into the police station and talk to them. The laws in many places vary and I am sure they would be willing to help even if it's informing you of when action CAN be taken.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmy myspace is on private so he can't see anything, he'll just send me messages. and he hasnt threatened me or showed up at my house or anything so i don't think there is much the police can do at this point. i definitely have told my friends and family about the situation so everyone is aware. mutual friends have told him to knock it off and he just gets mad at them and acts like he can do no wrong and that its all me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): Close your myspace page. Isnt there some setting you can choose so only friends you've already added can see your myspace? Either that or close it down temporarily if not permanently. Do not talk to him at all. Do not give him your new number. I am afraid police wont have the time or resources to do anything against him unless he has threatened you in any way (by saying he will kill you or burn down your house etc) and actually made an attempt at this. But you could always call the police and ask for guidelines on what to do and if they are at all able to do something.
Also, avoid going out alone too often so you will not end up alone somewhere with this ex. If he really does stalk you, he can easily find out when you are alone and approach you then.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): You should be able to file some sort of report with the police. Take proof of him stalking you to the police station and file a harassment report. I had a similar problem, told the police and they even contacted him to let him know he needed to stop bullying and harassing me.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (4 January 2010):
You can't over react at this point.
If his has been going on for 4 months and he still isn't listening then it's time to involve someone else.
There was a man here in the UK who shot his ex girlfriend and 4 year old daughter just before Christmas, and we have really strict gun laws. You have to consider your safety.
Either get s a mutual friend to pass on a message or something but warn him that if you EVER hear from him again then you WILL involve the authorities.
You HAVE to mean it though. If he tries again and you don't do it then he will know he can do what he likes.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 January 2010):
And I'm a bit worried for you too. First of all, you need to tell your parents and friends that you're being stalked. Then you need to keep everything he sends so you have proof. Then if he continues, threaten to take him to the police. And if he continues, do just that. Then get a court order.
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