A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I called my daughter's father to discuss a concern that's been on my mind. When I called, I was civil with him. Spoke at a decent tone of voice. I told him I am really uncomfortable with exposing my daughter around women that's coming in and out of his home. It's really unhealthy. It's showing my daughter that's it's an okay lifestyle. She's only 18 months. He was trying to turn the conversation into an argument. I told him if that's the case, I am going to hang up. So, I did. About 10 minutes later, he called back. I was driving on an military installation where cell phone use is prohibited. So, I told him I can't talk to him until I am off this military installation. I called back to finish our discussion. We had a really decent conversation which it turned into a crying session on his behalf. I felt sorry for him however, it paved the road where he's leading it to. His deceit, lies, cheat, etc...is why I left him. Especially, my daughter is not going to be exposed to that type of environment. That's unexceptable. I felt sorry for him. I don't know where or not if it's a pitty party to where he's trying to get in good faith with me which turns into trying to get back together which will not happen. Is there any advice of how to handle this situation?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOMG!! This sounds too familiar. Is there an echo in my life? Girlie, I exactly know how you feel. If there wasn't a child involve, this wouldn't be happening. This would be much easier however, a child lies between the mother and father. I totally agree with women coming in and out of the household. The lifestyle of acceptance of females in and out is showing your daughter it's okay. Unfortunately, it my situation, it got worse. Court matter worse. Give him an ultimatium. If this continues, I will go to your command. May even take you to court. The judge will see what's best for the child.There's a building called Fleet and Family Center where it carries information regarding situations with your daughter's dad. There are people you can talk to. To make matters worse, you can go to his command to let him know of his actions after hours. Yes, he will get in trouble however, it'll be the best for your child.
A
female
reader, temy  +, writes (3 July 2007):
I quite appreciate your determination to shield your innocent daughter from the problem you did not create yourself. Please do everything possible to disabuse her mind about her daddy's womanizing attitude. Most of the time i envy you each time i hear my ex. i feel like changing my nationalty and have your kind of freedom, in Nigeria where i came from divorce is a taboo especially in my tribe, you continue to suffer as a woman and smile. I really thank God that you are able to speak up your mind, if you've made up your mind not to see him again please let it be. These guys are the same everywhere full of deceits, do not be deceived by his crocodile tears, move on with your life. All the best
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A
female
reader, Beckto +, writes (15 June 2007):
 Crying is all fine and good, but actions speak louder than words (and crying). Trust is something that gradually builds between people. If you don't trust his judgement, yet he is crying and seeming like he wants to change his ways, I wouldn't trust that till you see it. It's easier to cry about it than to change it. Feel sorry if you want, but don't let him manipulate your emotions, especially since your intentions are in the right place in regards to your daughter!
Trust those instincts. Good luck.
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