A
female
age
36-40,
*ostarrynite87
writes:Hi! So here's my story I would like to know what other people think.So my 'ex' and I were almost together for a year, we've been broken up for 5 months now.At the start everything was okey...i had another ex still up my butt trying to make my life hell cuz my friends just have to be friends with him ((thats a story within itself)) so this bothered my 'ex' b/c he other was trying to contact me and stuff. My 'ex' stood up for me many times like everyman protecting his girl. But other then my other ex everything was good. We had the same taste in music, movies, food, sports...u name it, it was a perfect match. We saw eachother all the time, hung out like best buddies. It was so perfect that we wanted to be married, we even told both are parents and they were thrilled, we were truely in love. I was his frist everything: down to the 1st girl he ever kissed.Then...s**t starting to hitting the fan. The list of events to the break-up is as followed....1. He was not keen on the fact that i was drinking and smokeing here and there. Well i love him and respected him and cut down on all that stuff: totally turned it off. 2. Then my friends starting acting dumb, really dumb (again a story within itself) and he's like 'why are hanging with dumb people your better then that plus they hang out with you ex and his new gf that he left u for, why talk to them?!?' I started to realize that he was right, stop hangging out with the wrong crowd.3. My parents were alittle invadeing into my relationship w/ him. One day mom read a priveat letter, my 'ex' found out he got pissed off.4. The we went away on a trip ourselves. He wanted to know the story of why my other ex doing this stuff. I said to him 'no i dont want to tell you, it has nothing to do with our relationship now' why bother ya know?!? but with enough pushing from him i told him. Got mad at me then had a mini break up on the plane, said sorry moved on.After the trip he just got worse. I did not do things when he told me too, i took my time...in gerneral sometimes i never knew what he wanted or when he wanted it, all dumb things that happen in a relationship. The overall problem was too much drama shit towards me or just happens to me was going on and he just was like wtf. Then he just could not take it anymore, he stopped loving me and he broke up with me. Later on and still does today say nasty things to me. Says he hates me, blames me for ruining a good person (meaning him)..everything. He's even took other girls out on just dates to see whats out there. Then saying oh im doing it to getover you but then saying to me 'idk why i do the things i do, and i did nothing to have you hate me but at times i hate you' and here i am..upset, i still love him ( i let the nasty words go in one ear and out the other but mostly now its been sticking) i wanted to start a life with him. I guess you can say im horriably stuck.Today, we still talk, hangout, f**k, but he gets these moments when its happy, no problems then all of a sudden f u, i hate you, your luck that im even still talking to you. I'm like what the hell?!? Its like we're still in a relationship but just not together, i guess u can say f**k buddies but i dont even say that cuz when we do it i mean it and him 50 50. He tells me everything on how he feels and mostly says hurtful things that i already know and just repeats to me. What even kills me is he lets 'i love you' slip so many times and is all huggs and kisses, playful...like as if we were together! And the sad part is he knows i still love him and knows that i regret how everything came to be, his answer to us be broken up is 'too bad', 'oh well'Sorry for a long story but inorder for others to know what going on; the better answers i hope i get for these questions...1. Why does he turn on/off like jeckyle and hyde?2. How can he say all these nasty things that gets me very upset but days later i still love him?3. How can i stop him being nasty to me?4. He says he dosen't want to be in a relationship with me but why are we still acting like we're in one?general feedback is always nice. Thanxs for reading this people. For the 1st time in my life i never loved somebody so much as i do to him....i would do anything for this man but our dream is shattered and he does not want to go back to trying it again...somebody help!
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female
reader, PunkyPippi +, writes (17 January 2009):
 1- He turns on and off because he doesn't know what he wants
2- He is controlling, and he says those things to keep you under his thumb
3-Stay away from him
4- This goes back to the control thing
I'm sorry to say this, but from the description you've given of him, he seems as though he could become abusive toward you. He does things to hurt you. Sorry, but what guy wouldn't come around for free sex? He keeps you hanging there so you won't lose interest in him and figure out what a jerk he is.
Please let go of him. He's a loser, and I don't want to see you get hurt physically before you find that out.
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