A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:A new beginning ? I spilt with a girl a year ago, I found out by chance in a brief conversation with a friend she was seeing someone else. I tell her I know she has someone else, and simply wish she would have said. I’m very hurt she knows this, but I make no fuss, don’t scream don’t shout, I say I respect you so therefore I respect your decisions. I don’t even ask who it is, though I want to. I say well let's try and be friends and well let's have a brew and biscuit and say no more. Inside I’m dying at this time. But what can I do. She replies is that it? I say yeah. We have a brew. I go. We work in the same building in a professional environment. I am of course curious who she is seeing. I work it out for myself, it’s a senior older member of staff in the same place, who is known for being a player (hence how I worked it out, very few likable qualities about him).Weeks later she cries to me saying it's all a mess, I reply saying I’m ok, please don’t worry about me. When I see her again I ask you ok, she says I want you to leave me alone. I’m confused. I’ve got on with it.I ask what is the problem with me.. Reply, there is no short answer..Later in the year I say can we sit down have a coffee, chat and clear the air to move on in terms of friendship. She says she isn’t prepared to do this and starts crying. Again I’m confused . I’ve caused no trouble. Throughout the year if I try and be normal with her in terms of chat like I would nay one else she has been weird.. Her 40th arrives I text say happy birthday, the reply I get is it's my birthday, but I don’t have a lot to smile about .. In October something happens between her and the other guy (so I guess they were still seeing each other) she disappears from work and he goes sick for three months. Only to return this week.A week or two later she approaches me at work with a hand written note, talking about problems between them, almost an accusation that I had caused them, but didn’t manage to read the full content. For the first time I say, I don’t know what drama is effecting you but do not drag me into it, go away. She replies forget I showed you over and over and again cries !The New year approaches, and being me I think here comes 2009, I don’t want us not to be a least friends or civil. I send a Christmas card, basically saying listen, can we put our differences problems behind us etc and a be a least friends in 2009 and maybe you can give me a smile, I see no reason why we can’t be like this. I am the one who should have the issue in my mind. She wronged me if you like.Anyway, this week I bump into her for the first time on a staircase, she is walking in front, I know she will have received the card. She turns and smiles, we have a brief chat about work, I make my excuses and go, I don‘t look back. I don’t mention the card but it in my mind is now at a level. Sorted.Next day I see her again.. She completely ignores me ??Can anyone explain to me why it has been like it has?? And what does this woman want me to do or want from me because I am really confused. She moved on and I made it easy, so why the behaviour and what is the problem ?
View related questions:
at work, christmas, move on, my ex, player, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): sounds like she still has feelings for you but isnt emoitionally stable/ developed to deal with them in a grown up way, she just rather hide from you so she isnt reminded of them. if being friends/caring about her is that important to you send her a letter saying your willing to try if she is willing to offer some form of stable continous friendship, no games or ignoring you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009): Anon, I think your "friend" has serious problems, but you are better off to not let them become yours any longer. She is either a gamester, and/or in perpetual adolescence. Some people cannot grow up emotionally. They can be fun as friends, sometimes, but I would avoid any serious relationship with them. Move on. There are many women in your age range who would appreciate a man who is really interested in them and have much to offer in return. And stop thinking that you must be at fault for everything. Selling yourself short will only make you come up short in others eyes. Ditch it. You tried your best to be a friend. She is not worth beating yourself up over.
...............................
|
