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male
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anonymous
writes: Worried about a friend...Three months ago my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me - she said her feelings changed for me (and they had suddenly, which I am certain was mostly due to a medication change for her chronic depression). It was a pretty nasty breakup that left us not talking but maybe once a month. Now she's turned really wild and is doing things that are hurting both myself and her (the last time we talked she cried in my arms over getting too drunk and being raped). I know she's gotten wild as a result of being unhappy and filling that void with thrill-seeking (she always had a weakness for the party scene). But when she's not drunk and sleeping with other guys or out with her shallow friends, she's really upset about being lonely and unloved. I still love her and want her to be okay, though I know a relationship would be a bad idea after how she's hurt me. She's moving off to "escape" all the stuff that's making her unhappy, including having to run into me from being in the same geography (the memories hurt too much, she says). We were soul mates, so I can't imagine letting those feelings die, but I don't know how to break past this wall she's constructed and get her to realize that I'm the guy to fill that void in her life... I can't do nothing and let her keep hurting herself, nor can I sit back and watch her walk away, despite what everyone says... Anyone got any advice who understands how I feel about this? :-\
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2006): I don't suppose I know how you feel because I haven't been in a situation like that.
Talk to your ex and say that the only thing that is stopping you from possibly getting back together with her is her wild behaviour. That might be a wake up call for her.
Try reading through your question and imagining what advice you would give some else who was in that situation because sometimes it is best to think your own problems through like that and think them through.
You know yourself and your ex better than anyone on the site, how do you think it should be dealt with? Or do you think you both need to move on?
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