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My ex had the opportunity to break up from his GF as promised, but he did not do so! Can I trust that he will?

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 July 2008) 4 Answers - (Newest, 29 July 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

hiya

well i told my ex i still loved him and he told me he did too. but he hasn't dumped his gf yet. but he says he will.then his mate told his gf that she was dumped she asked him and said that it wasn't true. that was his perfect oppurtunity that he could have, but he didnt, i rang him and said tht he is going to, but face to face. but how can i be sure when he could've done it then. plz help

thnx

xx

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (29 July 2008):

kenny agony auntI think you are right, he had the perfect opportunity to finish the relationship but he did not. I don't think its fair that you have to hang on waiting for him to finish with his girlfriend, ultimately you could be waiting for ages, thats if he has any intention of doing it. Even if he did dump her, to get with you straight away would be too soon, like the rebound. I would get on with your life, even find someone else. You see you could be in his girlfriends shoes one day with him stringing you along with another girl. I say find a guy who you know is single and does not come with complications.

All the best x

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (29 July 2008):

Oh come on, do you really expect him to be that low that he'd get his mate to do the dirty work? Why did his mate know and tell her? That wasn't very nice.

He has to do it in his own way since he is going to hurt her and tell her that everything they've had together has meant nothing, and she's the last person to know this.

Set him a deadline of a week or two and then he'll have to find a right time to do it. If he doesn't then you'll have cause to worry that he's stringing you along.

Good Luck!! xx

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A male reader, PeterPan United States +, writes (29 July 2008):

PeterPan agony auntYou're kind of playing a dangerous game here... putting your life and happiness dependent on what some guy is going to do... or not do. You really can't get into his head on this one. I think it boils down to "do you trust him to follow through" or do you think this is a long-shot? Granted, you and he may still have something strong between you, but I ask you to think about why you two broke up in the first place... does that have anything to do with this situation?

In short, I would play this like you could care less if he follows through or not. You need to build your own happiness that is not dependent on the actions of others. This story is similar to stories where the other woman is waiting for the guy to divorce his current wife. They wait for something that might not ever happen. Don't be the next victim in this story. If he breaks it off with the other girl and comes to you, great... just don't be sitting around waiting for him to act and put your own social life on hold waiting for something that may never happen.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2008):

the sensible and best way to do it is if ure ex split up with her by himself as i think its obvious she's gonna go back to him and ask if its true so that puts him on the spot and paniks, if he is serious about splitting up with her and he doesnt give him an ultimatum, something like - if u go out with her i dont want to see you anymore as i dont like the fact that some1 i love is with another woman. or something to that effect lol let me know wot hapenz. x

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