A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend of one year broke up with me a couple weeks ago. I was very good to her and all she did was take. She wanted some space which I had a hard time giving to her and after some fighting she told me that she did not love me anymore. She did want to be friends though. I have been trying to sell her on a more casual relationship that does not put so much pressure on her. She has been up and down with that idea. We have been talking everyday but she has made it clear that we will never get back together again and I need to get over it. Then last weekend she came by my house to pick up some of her stuff and we ended up in the bedroom out of the blue. So much for getting over her. Now this week she is on vacation at the lake and seems to be unresponsive to my messages. I'm just going to leave her alone for the rest of the week but I know I will talk to her next week when she goes back to work. She has a long commute and calls me every day to talk. This is when it is convienent for her to call. I sit waiting for her to get off work just to hear her voice. I know she does not do the same for me, actually she gets annoyed half the time. I don't want to lose her out of my life completely so I am hanging on to see what happens. We will probably still talk all the time and we have some plans to do some things later this summer. In the mean time I can not stop thinking about her and how I can get her back into me. I am still very much in love with her and will do anything for her.
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (28 July 2010):
 I think she told you she wanted to remain friends, mostly for you. Why don't you stop being available to her. It's clear to me that she's just trying to let you down easy and all this nice-ness is for your benefit, not because there's a chance of reconciliation. Next time she calls, don't be around, don't call her back and don't wait by the phone another minute. Otherwise you're just fluffing her ego and causing your own growth to stall.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2010): move on mate she has made it clear she does not want you,find yourself a decent,loving person who will love you equaly as i did the best thing ever
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 July 2010):
The trouble with being a nice guy, is that even when it's going wrong and you're being treated like crap, you'll take it. Believe me, I know that feeling. The times I have been hurt and have just wanted to make it better are countless. In the end though, you have to make a break for your own happiness.
The sad fact is that this woman is not coming back. You could hold the torch for her to the ends of the earth, and it would not make a difference. This woman is not coming back. Instead, she just uses you at her convenience to get what she wants.
You need to stop hanging on. The decision as to whether you will lose her has been made. You have lost her. She's not coming back. You're a nice guy, and you deserve to be with a nice woman who gives a damn about you. But this is not the woman. You need to end contact with her now, or for the rest of your life you'll be her poodle while she's having fun with other people. There is another woman out there who will love you and appreciate a nice guy like you. Don't be the nice guy chasing the bad girl who doesn't care. Move on, or the better women will pass you by.
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