A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex-girlfriend is furious at me. About 3 weeks earlier I was talking to her current boyfriend since we have been good friends for a while. Previosly she has given me notes talking about how she wanted to have sex with me. I turned her down since the flame really wasn't there, and I was going to break up with her soon anyway. So when I was talking to her boyfriend I told him about the notes, and I made the mistake of calling her "easy." He didn't care because he liked the sound of it. When he told her about what I said she became furious. Then she confronted me in the hallway and asked me if I had really said that. I said yes because it's hard for me to lie. She instantly started crying. I completely regret saying that she was "easy." I can't even count how many times I've tried to talk to her or appologise. I'm affraid that this will really screw everything up. I need help really bad so I can fix this. I want to ask her back out since her boyfriend is about to break up with, because he likes to be a free spirit. I really did pick a bad time to start liking her again. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 December 2010):
I'll level with you - you've blown it. Big time.
I really don't see any way that you can make up for this one. You DON'T ever call a girl easy! That's a big no-no, because you can be sure she won't forgive you for it. She will be very hurt about this, and it will stay with her. The fact that you've apologized so much and she's not forgiven you is proof that you don't really stand a chance with her again. She'll never be able to look at you with any real feeling of love without remembering that you hurt her badly.
I'm also not sure you should try to go back out with her. You and the current boyfriend seem to have both been messing her around a bit for your own reasons. You two were together, and she wanted sex whilst you didn't because you were going to break up with her. Then this other guy came to her, and now he wants to break up. And now you want to go back.
This has become way too complicated, and I don't think there's love here at all anymore. You'd do better to learn from this and move on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): First off, this woman shouldn't be in a relationship if she still has feelings for you. She made that mistake and it's common among immature adult women. Now, emotions are all tangled up as a result. Apologize, and if she doesn't accept, dont beat yourself up. You made a mistake, are genuinely apologizing, and if she doesnt accept it man, move on and dont let her pour any guilt feeling on you. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): honestly there is nothing you can do to reverse the pain you caused her by calling her easy. But if you already know that the dude she is with, is getting ready to break up with her, be there for her when it happens. That will allow you to actually apologize, and for her to listen to what you have to say. Then go from there. I wish you the best of luck
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