A
male
age
30-35,
*ambo427
writes:hey my x girlfriend and i broke up a month ago we were together for about a year we had a really close relationship hanging out every day and never got tired of eachother i loved her to death she was the first real girlfriend i cared about so much that i would do anything and everything for her...towards the end it was a really jelous relationship she would always get mad at me for looking at other girls when really i wasnt most of the time.. atleast not in a sexual way i told her she was a controll freak LOL, then she finally started to get over it but she wud always get mad when she wud be at work and i was out with a couple friends she thought i was sleeping around on her... so there was obviously no trust... when we broke up it was because i went to a bonfire with a couple friends and she said one of her friends called her and told her i was all over another girl when i wasnt at all.. so she was on a path of revenge and went out to a party and slept with another guy and told all of her little friends she woke up with his head on her chest and then when she found out i didn't do anything wrong she denied it and told me she told her friends that because she knew it would get back to me...ever since then she has been acting really distant we broke up and got back together since then many times like little 1 day breakups... it got us nowhere and she started to seem like she didn't care at all about me or what i do so i ended it and she was upset for about a day then started going to the beach and hanging with some guy ... and we talked and she told me she liked him kinda alredy but he was a bit young so she isn't gona bother... i was so upset i felt sick to my stomach for about 2 - 3 weeks barely ate because i was so hurt on how easy for her it was to move on and how easy she could just lie to meshe wud tell me she was one place and be at another and it wud take me days to find out the truth i didn;t know what to do and now we havent talked in about a month and she texted me yesterday and i called her and she started crying saying she misses me.... and i fell right back into the same hole i was in... only deeper this time... i asked if she wud want to meet to talk about it and maybe try to work things out but she wudnt make the effort to do even that except if i went myself and picked her up... i just graduated from highschool we spent all our time together last year and i ditched all my friends for her now it just plain sucks and shes still in school for another year ... i just think about her alot because she told me how shes getting into drugs and how her friends are hooking her up with random guys and it bothers me alot... how do i get rid of this feeling its eating me away? because i miss her so much but i know it wudnt work out even though it feels like shes perfect for me... what can i do?
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male
reader, jambo427 +, writes (23 September 2010):
jambo427 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys idk its just crazy how much i love her she still texts me every now and again to tell me she misses me it tears me apart honestly because we had so many good times together like i cudnt even sleep in my bed for a few weeks or even look at it ... and yeah your right it is a feeling that is hard to explain and not many people understands it but how can i get her to stop texting me :s ive told her 1000 times that it hurts me to hear from her because i still love her and then... for example she texted me just yesterday saying justin i have a problem please call me and she told me shes been feeling weird pains in her stomach and might be pregnant because the last time i was with her was just over a month ago :s i thought about the idea if she really was and i broke down because it would be horrible... but then she tells me she misses me alot and stuff ... so i just get feeling down wondering if what is happening is right and i let her closer but then the next day (today) she just texts me and says i cant do this i cant talk to you... its just little games she is playing with me ik that but i need to find a way to make it stop... its at the point i dont know how to cut contact with her completely even though i know its needed
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): She's not perfect for you! She's a control freak who you care about so so much that it makes you feel physically sick when she hurts you. If she cared about you and loved you like you do her, she wouldn't be lying and running around with random guys - it's just vindictive and cruel and she's trying to make herself feel better with it.
I know exactly how you feel because I was with a guy who did all the same stuff to me as she does to you. Trust is incredibly important in a relationship and her jealousy makes trust impossible. I tried for years to get my guy to trust me, to believe that he was the only one I wanted, but he saw things that weren't there so there was no way I could convince him otherwise. This is eating you up already, you honestly have to make a clean break. I know it's hard and I know most people won't be able to understand why it's so hard... but there are so many good times and fond memories too. And I bet you feel like you understand her and deep down she is a good person so you want to stay with her. But you can't when it hurts you so much! You really have to be strong and stay away from her. Don't talk to her anymore. Get in touch with all the friends you lost last year. (By the way, losing touch with your friends is a sign of an unhealthy relationship, just so you know in future). I'm sure your friends will welcome you back, mine did, and it's a great distraction to learn how to have fun without her again. Remember all the hobbies you did before you met her and give them a go again.
It's really hard, but I hope you can stay strong, because the healthy relationships waiting in your future are so fantastic - I can't possibly explain the wonderful feeling of sharing trust and honesty in a connected relationship with someone else. You are clearly ready for such a relationship, but she has much more growing on her own to do before she can experience this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): the only thing you can do i move on she can take care of herself u can have her in your heart just not in your arms you will find someone new and made jus for you
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