A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Short Summary (who didn't read my threads before) - my x-gf (for 4 months) went to vacation to her country, after 6 week I came to airport to meet her, and discovered that she came back with her X (they were together 3 years and separated 8 months ago)....pregnant from him. Of course - I had no idea about all this, until the next day her mum told me not to contact her in anyway, cause her X (apparenlty not X anymore) totally controlling her (reading her msgs, phone, email, etc.) We actually never talked since she came back (5 mins phone call from toilet, hiding from her new/old partner, crying and saying "I am sorry, I am confused, don't know how it happened, our families pushed me, what should I do, will you take me back ?" - doesn't count, right ?She tried to contact me several times since that, but I blocked her number (but still could see that she called)... It's nt like I didn't want to talk with her, I was dying to see her - but I wanted her to come to me (she knows exactly how to find me, we live 5 mins apart) and talk to my face and not hiding somewhere... Is it too much to expect from cheating girlfriend ? Apparently. The funny thing - I convinced myself if she will "fix the mess she caused" show ture regret and give me some reasonable explanationI will give us another chance. But she never bothered to do anything of this....All this happened about 3 weeks ago.Now, I loved this girl very much and beleive she loved me also. We were talking about moving together, marry and having kids one day... Since I am alone in the country - she was much more than a gf to me - she was my sister, my brother, my mother, my good friend... everything...I am 100% sure (99.99% to be honest) that no matter what she will do now (though knowing her, she will probably do nothing, cause of her weak character) she will never be mother of my kids, BUT I still care about her (as a friend)...She also alone in the country, and currently moved back to her X and his family (which emotionally abused her, but apparently changed as she had said to me from the toilet. btw this is the reason she left in the first place). Still, I am not sure she is happy there and even if they changed, I suppose it is only temporary...On top of all old problems, he also jelous to me and completely controlling her. I am not talking about unwanted pregancy (and possible abortion)I really don't know what is going on in her life lately. I promised her not to intefer to her "new happiness" and I keep my promise.Still, I may assume she is not very happy about what happened (otherwise probably wouldn't call me and tell all this things)also she mentioned abortion - but she may change her mind every day, so I really don't know...I read a lot since then in order to understand wtf happened here and what did I do wrong.I am not angry at her anymore, cause it is not her fault that she so easily manipulated and has such a weak personality (may be it is her parents fault that grew her this way, may be it is my fault that i didn't notice it and didn't break up with her before, saving a lot of pain for many sides involved). Also I am starting to realize that she may have some emotional disorder.Of course all these does not relief the pain she caused me...I am deeply hurt about the way she unjustified ended with me (without even seeing and/or talking to me)I will not tell you how I felt last few weeks - shortly I was a "breathing zombie", that couldn't even cry, cause I was out of tears. She has a birthday in few days - I am thinking whether I should aknowledge it in some way (at least send her some msg or card?)I always promised her - that no matter what, I will be her friend (she doesn't have real good friends here at all) and I assume she expecting some kind of "sign of life" from me at this day (may be I wrong, though... therefore I asking for your independent insight here.) I do not expect her - to crawl back to me cause of this jesture or even any reaction from her...But I thought it will make her feel better (although I do agree that she proabaly don't deserve it right now.) So what should I do? Ignore her birthday or not to ignore?
View related questions:
abortion Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (7 October 2010):
 If i were you i would just send her a short message, something along the lines of...
"Happy Birthday hun, hope you have a lovely day"
Something simple, which just shows that you remembered and made the effort to send a short message.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (7 October 2010):
 Mail her a birthday card. A friendly not schmalzy birthday card.
...............................
|
