A
male
age
41-50,
*ost tears
writes:Hello!I found out that my ex, (we broke up about 3 months ago after a year of beeing together) is getting engaged with her rebound relationship.I could tell even after she broke up with me that she was attracted to me and we kept contact cos we love eachother. She broke up with me cos I didnt show her my feelings. I was always there for her and she knew that. But i failed to show her I was inlove with her. I was afraid cos of 2 past bad relationships. I loved her but was afraid to show her im inlove with her! This girl wanted to marry me but it was all to fast!! It made me scared!When she broke up with me I still showed her I love her by still doing things for her cos I loved her and she was always grateful for that. And I still do! Even after she got involved with this new guy, she still wanted to meet as friends but she still cuddled next to me and all. Now I found out that she is getting engaged with this new guy. But how is it possible to do something so fast? She is 30 and I understand that she wants to settle down. I have told her that I love her and I want to marry her.. She says its too late now and that she is over me. But we still met and did some art together, she came to my place a few times and always stayed longer, doing fun things, paying guitars and stuff! Like hours!I find out by friends (girls) that she doesnt speak to them anymore, after she has seen me hanging out with them. Very childish!! She seems really jealous of me hanging out! Why is she doing this if she has decided to get engaged! Its not healthy for her i guess! I mean she wants me to accept that she has moved on but then why does she get upset with girls that hang out with me just as friends?I really love this girl and i am afraid she is rushing into things!! I want her to be happy! I really do and I cant try to convince her not to get engaged.. I do want her back though!! Im afraid she will get hurt!!! I went to her last night. She was going away for easter holidays today. We spent like 10 hours together. I told her everything,i read her all the poems I have wrote for her, but never told her, played songs i wrote for her on the guitar that she never knew. She started crying telling me that it seems so strange that im showing her all this now. we spent a wonderful evening together. She says its too late but in her eyes, I can tell its not. we even kissed and made out a bit. She kissed me!! She didnt want me to leave her house. But still she says she knows what she is doing. ?????? She knows? Getting engaged with her one and half month relationship? She said she loves me soo much and all! She cried alot though.. She seemed a bit confused even if she stated she is not. We took a little nap on the couch holding her in my arms. I mean.. A beautiful thing.. She now knows everything.. And I am sooooo inlove with her!!!! Now,she knows.. Do I stop? The new guy is going to meet with her parents soon. I dont know.. Its been soooo hard for me all this time!! My life has changed in such a bad way.. Sometimes i feel i want to just jump of my balcony and hurt my body so i'll have something else to think of.. Just hurts so bad!!!Thanks people for taking time to read this big post!!
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broke up, engaged, jealous, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Big Heated  +, writes (15 April 2010):
I'm going threw something similiar bro! I would rather get hit by a Mac truck. Keep your head up and show her your a MAN! Thats what they all really want!
A
male
reader, lost tears +, writes (1 April 2010):
lost tears is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello people!!!First of all, thanks for taking time to read and write back!She broke uo with me cos, her past relationship was a very long one. Almost 10 years and that guy treated her really bad.. I started closing in on myself when I realised that I am ver inlove with her, but not only that, that I actually love this girl. So that made me very afraid cos of my past relationships. And she, was afraid things would turn out like her past relationship.. So, she ran! I have told her everything and im very serious about it. Even after we broke up, I was always there for her! She knows I care alot. And its not only that we had fun times playing music.. I did tell her seriously that i know I was wrong not showing her everything. I told her I do want to be with her and marry her. All this time that we have been apart, and I have been alone, I have given it a lot of thought. And I am sure I can be with her. She is a stubborn person though. She mixes up things she says. At 1st, she always said to me that when she broke up, she wanted to still be friends, she claimed she did it for me. Yesterday, she said that she was giving me chances. Its all mixed up. The engagement will be in May. Thats to soon!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2010): Sometimes rebounds do actually work out. It depends on the people involved, the circumstances for how they left the last relationship and where they are in their lives.
You really need to move on from this ex, and you should try see her getting engaged as some form of closure.
Some girls when you break their hearts - they don't open them again. It's a one chance opportunity and once it's blown, it's blown.
As hard as it may seem, if this relationship doesn't work out, learn from it so when you meet someone new, you won't make the same mistake again.
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A
male
reader, unwind  +, writes (31 March 2010):
I don't even know where to begin. First, I am sorry for the pain and confusion you must be feeling. I am curious as to why she broke up with you. I don't know if she is being truthful about the breakup.
Second, I think you need to give her space to enable her to miss you. If you are spending 10 hour days and singing and reciting poems, then she has the best of both worlds - getting married and being in the presence of her love. She is sending way too many mixed signals. Avoid contacting her all together for a good two or three weeks. This is not to play games, but to allow you time to think things through with less emotional influence and to try to get rid of your drug habit – you are having serious withdrawal problems and just like any drug addict, you need to slowly work your way of getting rid of your dependence of her.
If you end up back together, then great. If not, I think that is the better scenario. She is giving mixed signals, and that is never a good sign.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 March 2010):
 He may be HER rebound buy, but unfortunately it is also HER mistake to make.
All you can do is wish her luck. And move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2010): Sounds like a case of 'too little too late' & 'you don't miss what you've got til you lose it' .. excuse the cliches but they exist for a reason! You had your chance with her and she made it clear she wanted a commitment, which you weren't able to give, so she has found it somewhere else. However, it does sound like a rebound and it could be that she wanted a loving committed relationship so badly that she isn't thinking straight. The best thing for her is probably to be alone for a while. How can she be sure that you aren't just saying al this to get her back but on your terms and once she's back with you, you won't go back to your old ways of not showing her your love?? She is in tricky situation. All you can do is to be totally honest with yourself and with her. I understand your dilemma .. you probably want to give her space but are scared that in doing so, the other guy will get closer to her. However, if they aren't meant to work out then they won't and she will realise it soon enough. Maybe she is just glad to have someone giving attention and commitment after craving it so badly from you and not getting it. She clearly still has feelings and attraction for you but doesn't trust you fully ... you need to be honest with yourself first and foremost. If you get her back WILL you commit to her and give her what she wants or is this a case of you not fully wanting a commitment with her but not wanting anyone else to have her either?? I am not very sure what else to say but I think you'll get some good answers from the others on here. I think if you do want her back you should be serious though and no amount of playing love songs on your guitar will convince her! She needs to feel it that it's real and coming straight from your heart and mind seriously ... women can 'read' all sorts of stuff you know! Anyway good luck and please don't jump out of any windows. No matter what happens you still have your life and it's precious! It sounds like you have a chance to work it out with her but don't expect it to be easy! I look forward to hearing what the others have to say as I'm a bit stumped myself! Take care
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A
female
reader, aliyahnangelo +, writes (31 March 2010):
 DO NOT JUMP OFF THE BALCONY!!! I know it may seem poetic to hurt yourself for love but if it doesn't work out with her the pain will lessen a little bit every single day. who's to say that this isn't for the best? everything happens for a reasn! its very cliche but its true. And I'm sorry to say this but if she is getting married only after 1 and a half months of dating this other guy then she isn't very smart. She doesn't even know this guy. I predict that if she goes on with the engagement then it will end badly. PLus does this poor guy know about all the time she is spending with u? She is bringing another person into her emotional mess and its selfish. She's not over u either. sounds to me she's in a hurry to start his life with someone, but maybe she needs to find her self and get her head together. All u can do is tell her your feelings on the matter and let her do what she wants to do. if she marries this guy, then u have to move on. It'll take awhile but eventually u will get over this woman.
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