A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I recently was found via a social networking site by an ex from over 20 years ago. We had exchanged the odd email - nothing major just catching up and thought that's good. This weekend he started sending more flirty type messages, I tried to remain cool and make jokes to 'laugh them off' then he got very dirty. He has a girlfriend of two years and they are about to marry. I think it's very unfair on her so I didn't reply.I always thought he was a decent guy, I think he is but he obviously has fantasies... and they seem to be based on me!! It's all fantasy, he hasn't seem me in the flesh for 20 years and he has no idea where I live even what country so I'm not bothered about that aspect but I am concerned about his girlfriend.. it is unfair. He seems to be looking for some type of 'cyber sexual stimulation' and is using me for this.. I only wanted to say hi! This type of thing doesn't turn me on.. for a start it's his fantasy not mine and I it's inappropriate. The thing is he doesn't seem to think he is doing anything wrong. I'm not sure his girlfriend would see it that way?Why do men think they can 'have their cake and eat it'? I just wanted to be friends but he only wants to talk dirty, I feel like I'm being used instead of one of those freephone numbers! I've had enough of being part of his game so have blocked his emails. It's a shame as I just wanted to be friends.
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female
reader, aunty_rach  +, writes (13 October 2008):
don't do it! he just wants you to help him get off. don't lower yourself like that, think about how you would feel if you were the gf and u found out your bf was masturbating over the net with another girl.
A
female
reader, lovemyman  +, writes (12 October 2008):
I totally agree with you. Me and my boyfriend went through soemthing like this already. I was snooping around in his logs and found cybersex chats with a girl, and I went ballistic on him. I felt insecure and jealous, and he said it meant nothing he was only playing (which i still dont believe, but we are pass that). To me, its as good as cheating. You may not be doing it physically but you are still hurting someone emotionally. If I was his girlfriend, I would be hurt that he needed to have cybersex with his ex (especially), when he has me right here. If would be as if I am not good enough, or not enough. You did the right thing of blocking him, I would of told him what he was doing was wrong and disrespectful to his girlfriend and to you. I'm sure neither woman should be disrespected in this way. This just shows what a good person you are to think about another woman feelings instead of your own.
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