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I'm a virgin in my late 20's and scared of having sex with my girlfriend

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Question - (12 October 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 12 October 2008)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi I am in my late twenties, vigin, and got my first gf about 6 months ago. I love the girl but everytime I am just too nervous about having sex with her. I had a fear of losing erection when it comes to sex. When I attempted to have sex with her few months back, I lost my erection and it just made my fears worse. I think I've been taking over by the nerves. I begin to worry about my problem everyday even when she is not around.

Do you guys have any tips to solving this problem? Should I try something low key before sex to get myself adjusted to it? For example, maybe do a bunch of mess'n around sessions, then oral, then sex, would help?

I've told my performance anxiety problems to her and she is very understanding aboug it. Two nights ago she asked how my problem is doing. I can felt a deep fear setting in as soon as she asked that. I felt totally terrible about it and wonder if I will ever overcome this problem or even have kids in the future.

Thanks alot for your help and suggestions.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008):

Every man has some problems with erections at least some of the time.

Sometimes there can be medical causes for this, but a big factor, and one that sounds most likely in your case, is nerves/anxiety.

I would suggest you just GO FOR IT! If you lose an erection, then stop and have a break; you can kiss and cuddle your girlfriend.

Importantly your girlfriend seems so supportive of your 'problem'. She seems happy to be with you with or without sex and obviously realises you can show your love in other ways.

Relax. Have sex. Enjoy yourself!

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (12 October 2008):

Danielepew agony auntSince you have a partner who is patient and willing to help you with your nerves, just dive into it and try. Whatever problem you have, you will solve it with time and patience.

Oh, I also need to mention you have an eager partner as well. Patient, willing, eager, and, I must add, loving.

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