A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dated my ex fiance for a year and a half. I ended our relationship because he cheated on me. I tried to make it work but my trust and love were gone so I decided in the long run it would be better that we went our separate ways. Neither one of us contacted each other for months. I was content with that even though getting through the pain was very hard. One day at work I was reading through the Newspaper which I do once in a blue moon. And I happened to flip to the obituaries and I see my ex fiances picture. That day after work shocked and devastated I went to his mothers house and she welcomed me with open arms. I knew Cruz had an older brother named Emilo that lived about 4 hours away. The entire time Cruz and I were together I never once met Emilo. I heard good things about him and that's it. A few days before the funeral I went to visit Cruz's mom not knowing that Emilo was there, when I first saw him I was captivated. I was in no state of mind to date anyone. After the funeral and a couple days later his family and myself spent time together and it made me feel good to be apart of their lives. I decided it was best to distance myself from his family so I could grieve on my own on my terms. So I kept in contact with Cruz's mom every now and then. Then one day out of the blue I get a text from an unknown number and it's Emilo. So we text-ed then it went to phone calls. Some were about Cruz and some weren't. He invited me to a family BBQ and I still had not developed any feelings for him. Strictly platonic is how I wanted our connection. It has now been five months and his grown on me. I wasn't expecting this... to be in love with him. I have not told him how I feel. I don't know what to do????
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 October 2010):
 Ok this is a tricky one. Am sure your ex would want you to be happy no matter what, but this could spell trouble in the long run.
First off you need to find out how this man feels about you, as he may just be keeping in contact with you as he feels you were a big part of his brothers life and he wants his memory living on, or maybe he likes you to, but you need to ask him were you stand with him before your feelings develop anymore.
You also need to take in to concideration his family and how they would feel about it if you did get together with there other son. You would need to ask them how they felt and made sure that they werent angry or upset because they have just lost a son and am sure you wouldnt want to upset them anymore.
A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (16 October 2010):
 This is a very delicate situation and should be handled with a lot of care...Emilo just lost his brother and having you tell him that you love him might invoke feelings of immense confusion, guilt, and distress. His brother's gone and now, the woman who loved him and might have married him is in love with him...very tricky. I also think that you haven't had enough time to really recover from this. You may feel fine, not at all sad, but there's still pain underneath the layers. Pain that leads you to form an attraction to someone who helps relieve it. After I lost someone close, I threw myself into a relationship-wanting to feel loved, secure, and alive...and I wasn't in love like I thought and ended up hurting the man. I suggest you take it slow, take some time to sort through your feelings. Keep the friendship you have as it's obviously valuable but do not tell him of your feelings. If he feels something towards you, you'll soon know. But tread carefully, Emilo and his mom both need more time to heal.
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