A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,My boyfriend split up with me a couple of weeks ago and i have not heard from him (we had a fall out) He has a Netflix account and he has himself, my daughter and me on it with our names which have always been under a square blank box.Last Sunday he changed each box, his to a cartoon character, my daughter to a cartoon cat and me to Queen Cleopatra with a cat on her head (i have two cats as pets)I know it's a bizarre question but would you read anything into that as a sign?
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (13 February 2019):
 Pretty good deal, relationship is over but you still get free Netflix. Or do you pay half?
It's not an important point. You are content to wait for him to make a (another) gesture. That sums up your interest in reconciliation nicely.
I don't have a problem with your course of action. It matches your feelings nicely and is healthy protection for you and your Daughter.
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (12 February 2019):
 Sounds a bit childish tbh.
You’re both adults and wondering what a change in Netflix avatar means. Either discuss things like ADULTS or move on. If you’ve broken up in the first place then why try and get back together? Things obviously aren’t working.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2019): Thank you Fatherly Advice, clearly you took the time to read my follow ups.
I know perfectly well it's not an ideal form of communication if that is what it was. I have stated we both communicate bad and it's a problem.
But again I have communicated crystal clear my thoughts and feelings to him. I know full well he is angry with me and is not ready to talk, if ever.
But I have concluded that there is little point explaining this since some of you 'agony aunt's' have your own opinion and thinking outside the box is difficult.
I have drawn my own conclusions and I know what I am doing regarding this relationship.
So again thank you to the two who offered their thoughts on it x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2019): I know exactly how it comes across however he is in no doubt how I feel about him, the ball is now in his court to contact me!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2019): I heard third hand he has told his parents we are over but I am hoping when he has had time to calm down he will change his mind
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2019): I'm sorry to say but you are in your 40's yet you sound like an 18 year old.My goodness, girlfriend! Communicate if you want to get back together with him or be friends or whatever. Are you going to sit here and ponder what he is up to because he changed an avatar? Maybe he was bored and felt like doing some customization.Text him, call him... If you are truly done then stop using his Netflix account!
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (11 February 2019):
Yes it is a positive sign. Yes it is attempted communication. Changing avatars is an inclusive move. It would have taken the same time to change the password. That would have been exclusive.
You two need to learn how to talk. Here is a script for you. "Thanks for putting avatars on our netflix pages. I'd like to talk with you when you are ready. Perhaps we could meet for . . . . " Coffee, Ice cream, video game, or whatever you do together. This is called opening the door. Try it.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 February 2019):
 A sign of what? I dont see what it would mean if it was to mean anything. It has the same meaning to me as rocks on the ground. Maybe they were laid there for a purpose, but probably they landed there on random.
Its been two weeks, that's very little time. If you don't think it was the right decision to break up, tell him so. If you think you made the right choice to break up, then what does it matter if the avatars means anything? Be an adult here. Say what you mean and mean what you say. If you want him back, tell him directly. If you don't want him back, get your own Netflix-account. It's not that expensive.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2019): Thank you the female anon who actually did try and give advice.I know at the moment he is angry about something i did and i have been told by everyone to leave him be at the moment. I know him enough to know he would not be playing games with me. He hasn't outright told me we are finished, more that he is very angry and no i did not cheat on him. He changed the pictures to certain images i know in his mind would be how he sees himself, my daughter and me. I am NOT wanting to move on and cut him off, as i have stated he knows i am still using Netflix, i paid him half this month. As and when i know for sure it is over i will take both mine and my daughters off.Some of the responses are clinical and life really isn't that straightforward. It isn't working because of my silly behavior which i am working hard on sorting out. There is not a lack of love on either side, it is not about that.So yes i am hoping that him doing that is a sign he is thawing and does miss me, he would not have done it out of boredom, he was single many years before he met me and is happy in his own space as well. But thank you for the one poster, anon who took the time to answer without sarcasm.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (11 February 2019):
 You say "Because I am leaving him be at the moment, it's not lack of love on either side why we have split up, we struggled to communicate with each other.
"He hasn't changed the pictures in malice, they are cute and funny. I'm hurting enough about all this and asked on here because yes I hope it's a glimmer of hope he misses me"
The original issue is still there. He MAY miss you, just as YOU miss HIM, but that will not fix the lack of communication. Until that is fixed, you will just keep hitting the same brick wall in the relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2019): Are you interested in getting back together with him?I think after break ups, the person who did the breaking up sometimes does stuff that can be interpreted as wanting to get back together (even something as ridiculous as changing a Netflix avatar...). The thing is there are really two broad reasons they do this. One is that YES, they want to get back together (sure it’s farfetched, and really a ridiculous way to get your attention, but why not) The second is that they DON’T want to get back together but they are bored, sad, lonely—which is normal. Since you don’t know really the reason WHY, without asking him directly, why don’t you focus on what YOU want first. If you’re done with him, then who cares about why he did that, and stop using the Netflix account and get your own (cutting him completely out of your life). If you ARE interested in getting back together, just ask him directly. Wondering about it is really a waste of time. Personally, I think when there’s a break up, there’s a valid reason for the break up and you should just move on. Stop thinking about things in a backwards manner (wondering what HE’S thinking or doing) and instead think about what you need, want, and deserve.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2019): I couldn't be arsed to read anything into anything, either a couple want to be together or they do not, net flicks, face book, all the same trash that seems to dominate peoples relationships, instead of reality. Together or not together, if not then get into real life and forget stupid images and start living again, life's too short to play guessing games.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (10 February 2019):
 Maybe he was bored? Maybe he knew you would see it and it would be a reason for you to talk to him? Who knows? ASK HIM
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2019): Because I am leaving him be at the moment, it's not lack of love on either side why we have split up, we struggled to communicate with each other.
He hasn't changed the pictures in malice, they are cute and funny. I'm hurting enough about all this and asked on here because yes I hope it's a glimmer of hope he misses me
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 February 2019):
 Then ask him?
You might get a MUCH clearer answer than any guess that we strangers online can come up with?
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (10 February 2019):
Yes, a sign that he knows which buttons to press to get a reaction out of you.
If you have split up, you really need to get your own account and cut ties to him. How else are you going to move on?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2019): He knows I still use it and said he okay with that. His job is IT so he knows exactly how to change it, we had the Netflix well over a year and been together two years
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 February 2019):
Nothing. Maybe he just figured out how to change the avatar.
My question to you is... why are you still using HIS account if you are not dating?
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