A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im sorry its long but i need help!!! i am in one of the most awkward love triangles ever, the type that movies are made of.so. i am currently 18 y/o, about to enter college as a freshman. i will be going about 2 hours away to college, btw, just keep that in the back of your head.so i dated a boy for 2 years, was his friend for 6 or 7 beforehand. we went from being friends, to best friends, to a couple, and life was great. we were a little rocky every once in a while, but we were definately in love.however, he cheated on me when i went to europe for a couple weeks. brokenhearted, i dumped him. he then tried to win me back, but i resisted because it was too soon and i couldnt forgive him, then went on to date my best friend. he went from telling me he loved me one night, to telling me he loved her the next day. that hurt too.they didnt last, and its been 6 months now since we broke up. i have been single the entire time, but he dated a girl for a couple months. shes 19, and a mother of a 1 1/2 y/o son from a previous relationship. all the while, he was telling me he loved me still. he said he wanted to see me before i went off to college.i got angry at him, told him he shouldnt be making love to her while telling me he loved me. that he was doing something wrong and he needed to change.so he broke up with her. and he wants another chance. i didnt want to give it to him, he has hurt me too much too many times, but the girl wanted me to see him. she said i was inadvertently hurting her because she loves him but he isnt over me. she wants us to either have closure or get together, either way she wants to stop hanging.now the sticky situation:he claims to love me and care deeply about her. he is indecisive over who he wants though. and he has this tendency to talk the talk but not walk the walk.she loves him. but she doesnt want to be 2nd best. she doesnt want to be his backup. she is hurting, but she is trying to be an adult about it.in the meantime, she and i have become good friends, bonding over what an idiot he is.and i, i still care about him. not love, maybe, but i dont know. and i dont know if i want to find out. he had me once and messed up and im afraid to give him another chance. i never got over him though. but, i dont want to hurt my new friend.it doesnt make sense, any of it.what would you do? what do you think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): Yea ... Well it's a good thing were friends. And just remember, I broke up with him because he wasn't over you =P We're going to be fine ... we're going to love again ... we're beautiful and amazing ... haha what were the chances that one boy would be so blessed to have a shot with BOTH of us ... hahaha talk to you later girlie! 3
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007): thanks for your help everyone!i completely shot him down this weekend, and theres more where it came from, just in case he comes back for more.so im pretty much out of the love triangle.and i found a new boy =]now all i need to do is help the other girl figure out what the hell is going to happen between those two...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2007): Don't do it. Been there. For 3 years, starting when I was around your age. And I had known him for 10 years before that! Did the bonding with the gf thing too! The guy will NOT change. It's going to be the same thing over and over and over again. Trust me, nothing will ever change, he will cheat on you with someone and cheat on her with you and it will just mess you up. It took me 3 years to learn my lesson, I would hate for you to waste such an important part of your life like this. It's not worth it. Do not get dragged into this mess. He is just bad news. Please just keep him out of your life if you can. I cannot stress this enough. Don't get involved with him anymore.I hope everything works out well for you...Take care of yourself, you deserve sooooo much better!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2007): Wow - he really is a nasty piece of work isn't he?! He 'talks the talk but doesn't walk the walk', yes, I know the type. He wants you both - he loves the fact that you are both so 'into' him (you are, of course, otherwise you wouldn't need to be asking this question). I like the sound of his girlfriend - she sounds like she is hurting and is very vulnerable. She also has a baby to think of - what sort of man messes around a woman with a baby? That really is pretty low - to play with her emotions when a child is involved. You should tell him to get lost, have no more contact with him (why where you speaking to him anyway when he had another girlfriend? Surely you should have put the phone down when he called you? Perhaps you liked the fact that he said he loved you and sounded like he still needed you?). You are both being played by someone who is emtotionally immature and unable to make a commitment. It sounds to me like if you tell him you are not interested, then he will just carry on seeing the other girl - but more fool her. He will of course eventually leave her anyway. But you will be all the better for having no contact with him - go and find yourself someone lovely, who deserves you and treats you with the respect you deserve. Good luck XX
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2007): ermmm it seems to me like hes being greedy! i think both of you should just leave him to it. Hes hurt you so much and you said that your not sure you love him anymore so finish getting over him :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2007): Don't give in! you been very strong so far and I admire you for that, to me he sounds a bit like a idiot. I don't believe you can trust him as he's cheated on you then went on to date your best freind! also he wants to cheat on his current g/f. If I was you, I would get myself a new better b/f.
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