A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I dated a guy last year for two months who wasnt over his ex and we broke up. We had a great time but I could see he was still hurting over her and bowed out gracefully. Soon after I met a separated guy who was close to divorce after a 4 year separation no children involved but after a year decided I couldn't move in with him while he was dragging his feet using every excuse not to get a divorce. We broke up recently. He dumped me. Just after our break up my previous ex reached out as he heard I was single again. I agreed to meet up as a friend because he was always kind to me and we got on well.Now my recent ex says I couldn't wait to get back with him and that I should have time on my own to find myself. He found out through a colleague we are meeting.It hurts because I tried really hard to be supportive and caring and to give him space while he was going through a lot at work and with a house move. (His wife moved out 4 years ago). Now he just seems angry and I'm the bad one.I care because the break up is raw. He told me time and time again it wont work we are too different and I need to meet someone else. I was heartbroken but backed off and didnt put him under pressure. We even had a couple of lovely meals out last week but he always insisted we had no future...Im grieving for him but still want to see my previous ex as he is a deep emotional person and nice to be around. My recent ex was quite grumpy and withdrew from me a lot if we had problems.I can't win and feel worse as each day passes. ...
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at work, broke up, divorce, heartbroken, his ex, moved out Reply to this Question
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (12 February 2014):
 Why have contact with either Ex, all it does is create stupid drama, and who needs that?
Cut them both out of your life today and find yourself someone new with no emotional hang ups, be happy with a HAPPY man.
Life's too short.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 February 2014):
 I agree with SVC - STOP the contact with your "resent ex" 100% - he dumped you because YOU saw though him. He was QUITE content being "separated" but not divorced, because it game him an excuse and a cover as to why he couldn't be totally committed to someone else.
BLOCK him, un-freind, delete, remove him from your life.
He isn't going to be happy for you. He wants you to be miserable JUST like him.
Enjoy getting re-acquainted with the other ex. It might not lead any where but it will do you good to leave the "resent ex" in the dust.
You are not taking what he says serious are you? Because if you do, then you are letting him drag you down. Why the HAY let him be Judge & Jury over YOUR life?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 February 2014):
 Why are you agreeing with the toxic ex, who is clearly saying things designed to cut you down? You choose your life's narrative, you don't allow him to put over his own sub-titles, you know that, right? YOU are the decider of your destiny. As an EX he is dismissed from all positions of judgement or from even speaking to you about who you should or should not date.
What is going on with you that you accept his bizarre judgment? He's an EX, ffs. Exes say nasty cutting things to make themselves feel better. Don't buy into his BS!
He sure knew how to cut you, but you accepted the injury. Just put him and his crapola on the bonfire and cut contact!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2014): "Im grieving for him" Seriously?!! Why?
Cut off all contact with your recent ex. What business is it of his who you're seeing. Are you getting off on all the drama? Enjoying two guys fussing over you?
Why are you juggling exes? There are other people out there available for dating, without all the soap opera drama.
As for your other ex, don't lead him on while you're playing games.
Get one guy out of your system, before you go confuse another.
Chances are, they'll both tire of the childish games; and will both move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2014): It's none of your recent ex's business. Cut contact and allow yourself to move on with your life
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (11 February 2014):
 Oh so you should have time on your own after a break up?...that's rich coming from someone whose gone from a wife to a girlsfriend and won't get a divorce, what a total jerk!!
I'm with SOVERYCONFUSED on this one, block,delete move on.
It's a tough old world :-) xxx
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 February 2014):
 This one is easy... stop having any contact with your recent ex... block him on your phone, via email and on all social media.
if you can't see him or hear him you can't be annoyed by him.
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