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My ex broke up with me, then texted me 2 months later that he still loved me, then said he didn't want to lead me on!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 October 2016) 7 Answers - (Newest, 20 October 2016)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago. I've been dealing with it. The other day,out of the blue, he sent me a text message that said I love you. I felt that was not intended for me, so I called and told him that I think he sent the text to the wrong person. He told me that it was intended for me and that he still loved me but he was just tired then he cut off the sentence and I said I was tired too. (We had a lot of arguments towards the end of the relationship). He started a little small talk, then he said he had to go. He then called back and said he didn't want to lead me on. Why would he send the text and then say something like that. I didn't think it would lead me on because he told me that he wasn't getting back with me. I'm doing just fine but I would like to know what was the meaning of that text if he says we should move on.

View related questions: broke up, I love you, move on, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2016):

Block his number. It's over and he will play these mind games when lonely, drunk, insecure etc etc

Why subject yourself to it?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (19 October 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntI think he was lonely he sent the message off guard then he realized he did not want to be messing with your feelings. The best thing might be to block his phone number.

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A female reader, defer2ok United States +, writes (19 October 2016):

What makes women think that men don't feel. If he says he loves he loves you. Instead of trying to talk just tell thank you or that you love him and that's all. If your able to get these words in tell him you understand and that you're not going anywhere right now, but to expect you to be there forever probably won't happen and If things don't come around for you guys that you will always cherish the time you spent with him. Hang up and go about your day. Don't sleep with him unless he is showing you that he has decided to be with you and not to run off anymore.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (18 October 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI think he was feeling a little lonely and was reminiscing of the past with you.

And it was selfish. He wanted to say something grand, but not have to DO anything grand (as in really talk about the issues or whatnot).

Honestly? I'd block while working on moving on.

HE IS NOT looking to rekindle anything. Which is why he called to back to make SURE you understood he doesn't want to lead you on.

It may seem like mixed signals, I think it's more like BAD signals.

It is quite possible to LOVE someone and NOT want to be with them or to know you aren't a good match. We see it ALL the time in "real" life and here on DC.

Just know that HE does care for you, but not in the "I want to be with you" kind of way.

It's a nice thought to know he doesn't hate you after all the arguments at the end of the relationship, right? I wouldn't read more into it than that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2016):

The meaning of it is to sadly as hard as it is- move on. He is testing the waters seeing what he can do to push and pull your bottoms - seriously come on? Do you want a man that's a child ? I'm sure you are worthy of more than this and deep down inside your just stuck but you'll see he is a waste of time

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2016):

"I'm doing just fine" and "he told me we were not getting back together".

What is the pattern of you and his relationshio-do you all break up often and get back together? How long were you two dating?

I asked those questions to understand the extent of your relationship with him.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (18 October 2016):

Anonymous 123 agony auntI think he missed you on the spur of the moment and sent you the text but when he spoke to you, all the bitterness and memories of the difficult times came back to him and he decided that he was better off alone. That's why he said he didn't want to lead you on, so that you don't get any ideas and have any expectations from him.

It was selfish of him to have contacted you out of the blue and then to change his mind. Block his number and his emails so that you're not at his mercy and his beck and call. Don't respond to him again even if he were to contact you in any way.

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