A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex boyfriend and I dated from November until Febuary. We broke up, but I guess you can say we never really 'broke up' We still loved eachother, and we have been on and off since then.In April, I had finally had enough of all of the drama, the fighting, etc and I called it quits.But now June rolls around, and it's a completely different story. He told me he was sorry about everything that had happened, and he told me that if we were put willing to put the effort in for some changes, we could make it work. I agreed, because after all I still do love him.. I think.The problem is, I use to know why I love him, but now when people ask me I don't know. He is the only one I can see myself with intimately though..He is VERY jealous, I have alot of guy friends, and if they leave me comments saying, 'i love you' or 'your the best' etc. He will start to threaten them, and then it turns into a big fight, between two people that I love.Nobody wants me to be with my ex boyfriend - nobody really ever has, but they let me make me own desicions.. but I'm not sure how to let go. I don't want a jealous boyfriend.. and I'm not sure if it will ever change.Is there anything I can do to make him relax? and just chill out...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (14 June 2009):
 Dont ever let someone make you feel like only they could ever be capable of loving you. Because after hearing it non stop, many people begin to believe it, and never progress in either their relationships or their lives.You are way too young to settle.Just remember that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much!! You have really made me think, nobody has really put it straight to the point to that.
I also asked him lastnight if thats how it was going to end up. I have watched alot of television shows, A.K.A Maury! He told me of course not.
He does make me feel like he is the only one who will ever want me, and even though I know it's not true.. I let myself feel that way at times.
Thank you alot for your help!!
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (13 June 2009):
Young lady,
What a relationship in a committed sense means is that its an audition for a possible life together. so this is a snapshot of your life married to him...I know you are young, but stay with me here for a second and look into that crystal ball......
You think you will ever be able to go to the store and get milk without 20 questions once you are married?
You will not have any of your old friends because they will understandably view you as the friend they used to have but they dont have anymore because you chose him. But you make your own bed by staying with this guy. He is a control freak and this will only get worse.
Please understand that simple jealously is one thing, but driving all of your friends away is another. He is not going to just "come around".
Men and women like that just don't. Being controlling assholes knows no cure other than a severe beatdown.
Since this is unlikely to happen in the short term, I suggest you weigh your options here.
If you want to feel like shit, have no friends, have him looking over your shoulder on the social sites, checking your phone, and making you feel like no one but he will ever want you, and probably eventually punching or slapping you for looking in someones general direction(this WILL HAPPEN IF IT ALREADY HAS'NT!), then stay with him. And be prepared to come back here in a year and asking yourself how you allowed it to get this far.
But if you want a life where you can be happy, and have the love of your friends, and have a happy disposition when you wake up..then I suggest you find the nearest curb and dump this jackass off at it.
No one deserves to be controlled. Id hate for you to be returning here in a year asking this same question. If you dont get rid of him, you will be.
You are way too young to be putting up with this shit. You arent even old enough to drive a car, drive this idiot off your radar and get on with life!
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