A
female
age
30-35,
*cey lacey
writes:i broke up with my ex tim* 4 months ago (we were together for a year and a half and completely in love) because this is our senior year and i felt like i missed out on having fun with my own friends and i felt like i was in a committed relationship for too long and i was scared time was running out.. we go to different schools (in the same neighborhood) and we have different friends and different social events. during the time we broke up we still hung out and talked as normal.... even though i was seeing someone and my ex knew. every once in a while my ex would get really upset and get angry about how im with the other guy and still sorta with him at the same time... he felt replaced so quickly and wanted me back... he too, was seeing a other girls though and hanging out with his friends a lot moreafter 4 months, i came to realize that my priorities before hand were wrong and that my ex bf is so important to me and being with him for the remainder of my senior year is actually whats important. im ready for committment and i love him so much and i wanna prove that i have my priorities set. i told him all of this 3 weeks ago... but he told me he loves me very much and wants to be with me later on but now wants space.. i felt so rejected and angry bc i came to him so strong and ready to be with him. and i couldnt take not talking to him anymore bc when i was the one that broke up with him i gave him so much closure and we still hung out together.. but he wants to break away from me... we were very back and forth for 3 weeks fighting making up and then fighting again.. now, he tells me he wants space bc he's not ready to be committed,hes having so much fun with his friends does not want to give that up, he thinks he has more fun with them when he has the mentality of having no girlfriend what so ever. it kills me to hear that, i love him so much and i just messed up and now he became this over-confident guy who doesnt need me, but i need him and want to be with him more than anything... but when i try to talk to him he tells me to stop ranting and to leave him alone. he makes me feel empty bc i really want him and he pushes me away nonstop. Thankfully though, he agreed to stop seeing other girls. and i obviously agreed not to see anyone either. i know i have to give him time but it hurts so much that he doesnt want me and i cant stand that he barely wants to talk to me... he tells me he loves me so much and wants to be with me soon but he cant stand the thought of having a girlfriend, he messes with my head so much but i cant even seem to let him go.i need some advice about this one... thanks
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female
reader, SJ_ninety +, writes (22 January 2010):
 Ahh... just one of the many classic cases of "first loves gone wrong". Honey, I've so been there; I'm still sort of there. I can't honestly say that because of your age, you feel no such thing as love because when I was 16-18, I was completely in it with my own ex. Now I'm 20 and I still don't know what the hell I'm doing half the time when it comes to my ex.Your ex is being the "free agent" he obviously didn't feel when he was with you and believe me, I know the harsh blow when you find out the guy doesn't want you back... yet. I say "yet" because there's, of course, a chance that your ex just wants to be his age right now and not commit in high school. Completely understandable considering you were going through the exact same thing not too long ago when you broke up with him. .Give him some time, stay friends with him if it doesn't pain you too much, and when you feel the time is right (and not a day before!), bring your feelings up in casual conversation. It's likely he's just been feeling extremely put-off by your decision to break up with him in the first place and he's feeling "free" with his friends. Let him know, he can also feel "free" with you, too.
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