A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was with my ex for just under a year. We lived together, and every thing was hunky dory, we got on amazingly, sex was good, we were great companions etc. We had a problem sometimes with sex drives, as in his was all the time wanting it, and my libido lagged behind his.We broke up around Christmas time (2007), we both were having seperate personal problems, with families, jobs, etc, and things got too much and we ended it. Or more precisely, he ended it. I don't think he could cope with everything.7 months on and he is one of my best friends. There is still that spark, and I know he wants to try again, but I'm scared of getting hurt again.We both have our own houses, so we wouldn't have the stress of living together, and we could go on dates. I feel more comfortable with him than I have done with anyone else I've ever met, we have such a good connection. But I know his fatal flaw is bottling things up, and that's why we ended up breaking up before, he wouldn't confront his problems and deal with them.Do you think it could work? Or are we best as friends?
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best friend, broke up, christmas, libido, my ex, sex drive, spark Reply to this Question
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female
reader, KimmyDee20 +, writes (3 August 2008):
 Hiya!! That's understandable as to why you have both had to break up however my personal opinion is if you feel there is a spark there where he wants to get back with you and vice versa then id say give it a go but i suggest you both sit down and talk with each other about how you both feel at present , weigh out the pros and the cons of what could happen if you do get back together the best key to a relationship is and if you do and things dont work out the second time round communication as well as trust and if you do make another go at it and it didnt go to well then at least you know you did your best... In the meantime chin up, good luck with this and please keep us posted! K xxx
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 August 2008):
 In my humble opinion, you're best off as friends. The reasons why he broke up with you are still there. I'm not sure whether he could sort them out this time.
Maybe you could try, but be aware that it might not work. At least, that's what I think.
Why don't you ask questions to see where he is at the moment?
You also mention you wouldn't have to live together this time. I guess that pretty much defines the sort of relationship you expect from him. I read once that some people in France actually choose to live separately to avoid, precisely, "the stress of living together". It works for them and doesn't sound like a bad idea. If your mindset is made that way, that is. I know it wouldn't work for many people who live around me.
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