A
female
age
41-50,
*DinCali
writes:My son is 3 years old. He hasn't seen his father since he was 18 months old. Suddenly, his father wants to take a visit across the country to visit for a week, (with my ex-mother-in-law), none of whom have kept a relationship going via internet, phone or in person. They're both strangers to my son and yet expect me to just hand over my son all day, everyday. I realize I need to let go and allow my Ex to be the father he wants to be, but its so hard knowing he's going to get my son's hopes up and then just leave again. I worry for my son's feelings and safety.How can I find peace with this visit?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, JDinCali +, writes (27 April 2012):
JDinCali is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you Aunty Bim Bim ;)
I've been feeling such high emotion, its hard to think clearly! I really appreciate the advice and the mental focus you've given me.
I hope I'll prepare well enough.
Gratefully,
JD
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (26 April 2012):
 No. These people are strangers to your child. They need to be introduced gradually, starting with short visits of only an hour or so with you present.
If they dont like it they can take you to court, I'll be willing to bet any judge worth their salt would not just order you to hand your child over, especially if you indicate a willingness for him to have a relationship with them.
Start getting armed just in case, write down when you can remember the last contact from these people, if they sent birthday or christmas gifts or cards, if they made any phone calls or emails enquiring after him etc etc.
Also research (online is okay) so that you are fully armed, and can talk confidently, about what is best for a child in this situation.
See if there are any organisations in your area who may be able to help you with this, or with supervising visits initially.
If you can present a well thought out, considered plan, you are more than half way there.
Good luck to you and your little boy.
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