A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay so I dated this girl for a while and we even got engaged. We broke up because I made a horrible mistake. I wasn’t attracted to her and I didn’t love her, I proposed because I thought it was the right thing to do. When I realized that it was wrong for me to be with her and that she didn’t make me happy we broke up and I kicked her out. I started dating another girl and once the ex found out I was dating a girl from my past it was as if a bomb went off. My ex and her friends have made my new girlfriends life a living hell as she puts it. The ex and her friends disrespect her and blame her for me breaking up with my ex. I told her I can’t talk to her because of the treatment my girlfriend is getting from her and her friends and now she is making a huge deal about wanting to be friends because our relationship meant so much. I don’t really know what her intentions are, if she truly wants to be friends or if she’s trying to sabotage my new relationship or what the deal is. (also she has text me numerous times asking about my family, some school issues she’s had, and she wanted some help with her brothers house, they was pointless texts and I just ignored them all)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2012): Black list her number. She is not a friend if she can emotionally abuse your GF and have her friends gang up on her as well. I'd say this is classic sociopathic behaviours and not just jealousy.
I say this as she has targeted your new GF and will not be happy or sated until she has her way which is YOU NEVER BENIG HAPPY and IN LOVE; then she wins.
Cut her out, she's toxic and won't leave you alone until she realizes you can never be moved.
No contact, no emails, no phone calls. Even get a restraining order to place up healthy boundaries.
No one should be allowed to terrorize another.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2012): Yes!!!!!!! Your ex is jealous and trying to break you up with your new girlfriend, once she break you and new girlfriend up then she will not want to be your friend, your ex and her friend are up to no good so leave her in the dump.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2012): Cut off all contact between you and your girlfriend, and your ex and their friends. Block them from Facebook and email, change your phone number (only give them out to a select few), and avoid places you know she frequents. Get a restraining order if necessary. You need to step up and protect your innocent girlfriend from getting hurt or you may lose her.
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (2 August 2012):
 Your ex is clearly trying to sabatoge your relationship and posing as a "friend" grants her the right to be on the
"inside" in which to do the most damage. Do not respond to her messages, her phone calls and if she turns up on your doorstep don't answer the door. She is bein immature and somewhat psycho. If you want to preserve your new relationship you must cut all ties to your ex and all her friends. Eventually they will have no choice but to grow up and get a life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2012): First thanks for all the responses.
the girl from my past--i have seen her here and there driving down the street or at the store but we never talked or anything the last time i actually talked to her is the day i told her i have a girlfriend and she decided it wasnt a good idea for us to hang out or have any contact because of her feelings for me (she stopped talking to me completely for three years)
the ex--i broke up with her and then i called my new girlfriend. i feel guilty because it came as quite a shock to her that we broke up
i just want to know why she wants to be my friend.
is it to get back at me? is it to ruin my new relationship? is it to keep tabs on me? or is she really just wanting to be my friend?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 August 2012):
 Not sure either what you are asking. I would BLOCK your ex from your life in every way, be it cell phone number (yea, there is an APP for that -some are even free to download)her Facebook, social site, her e-mail EVERYTHING.
DO not fall for the "I want to be friends" she obviously don't she just want to get close enough that she can stick a "fork" in it.
Tell your GF, to block/ignore your ex and all her cronies.
Some people handle a break up badly, some don't.
Focus on your new GF, new relationship and let the ex stay in the past.
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A
female
reader, RUKM +, writes (1 August 2012):
 Were you seeing your now current GF while you were getting ready to marry your now, ex?
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A
male
reader, Hennessy1989  +, writes (1 August 2012):
 The best thing to do is cut all contact with your ex, she is a women scorned and is trying to ruin your new relationship, block her on Facebook/change your number, and focus all your love and affection on your new girlfriend, if you continue to ignore your ex she should eventually realise its over, if not then you can call the police and say she is harassing you, maybe a warning from the police might set her straight
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 August 2012):
 You DUMPED HER, now let her stay DUMPED.... whilest you ignore her and her cohorts.... and get on with your life and your new G/F. How difficult is that????
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (1 August 2012):
 You need to stop talking to, texting, emailing, and any other form of communicating should stop. You don't tell her you don't want to talk to her, you just stop talking to her. You should also block her on any social networking sites. Getting any kind of reaction from you gives her hope that she still has you on your chain. If you completely stop communication, she will know that you are serious.
Don't communicate with her even when she is "being nice" and asking about family, school, or what-not. She is continuing to try to hook you and reel you in. So far it sounds like she's been rather successful.
I am not sure what access these girls have to your girlfriend, if they go to school with her or what, but you should also tell your girlfriend NOT TO RESPOND to anything this ex and her friends do. Responding in any way gives the ex the ammunition she needs to continue with the same behavior.
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A
female
reader, RUKM +, writes (1 August 2012):
What's not clear from your answer is, where you in contact with the so called "girl from the past" while with your now, ex, in any way? This would be key info in both my answering and in us possibly having more background into what the attacks might be about. It seems weird and implausible that a bunch of people would all of a sudden just start attacking another. Also, you say when you realized she was not the one for you, you "kicked her out"? Um..what heck kind of treatment is THAT with someone that whether you have need for her in your life, or not, was a big enough part of your life for you to consider marriage. Something just doesn't sit right with this story. Looking forward to your clarification or all the info.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (1 August 2012):
Continue to ignore your ex, you were honest with her about the fact that it’s over between you and she’s obviously having trouble accepting that. If you kept in contact with her that wouldn’t help. You don’t really give much detail about how she’s making your current girlfriend’s life hell. If she wants to blame her for your breakup, that’s her choice and her right, all you can do is take the opportunity to set the record straight to those she tells if you so wish. However if she’s behaving unacceptably and threatening your girlfriend, you should first tell her that it has to stop and that nothing will change the fact that it’s over between you. What is she doing? If she’s contacting your girlfriend, block or bar her from whatever medium she’s using, be it a phone or social networking sites. If it’s harassing behaviour, you may be able to report her to the police as a last resort, but you should first warn her of any intentions to do something like that to give her the opportunity to stop. It really depends on what she’s doing, but I’m afraid that if it’s just that your girlfriend doesn’t like being blamed then you’re just going to have to support her because your ex is entitled to her view on what caused your breakup.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 August 2012):
 Not sure what advice you are looking for but I would just cut off the ex entirely if I were you. No contact. She's just hanging by a thread anyway. The ex and her pals will quit pestering your girlfriend when they realize they aren't getting anywhere.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2012): If she is going out of her way to be hurtful to your girlfriend you should probably cut her off. Eventually, your girlfriend will get right back in her face [if she hasn't already] and it will end up being a nasty headache for everyone. You aren't with her anymore so your new relationship is none of you ex's business. If she can't respect you and be civil to your new girlfriend, she needs to back off. I'm all for being friends after a relationship but you two aren't together anymore and she obviously has a hard time coming to terms with that. She's not being a friend- she's being a spiteful, jealous, obsessive witch. She definitely doesn't own you. I'd tell her to stay away.Try making yourself clear one last time that you want her to treat your girlfriend civilly and respectfully. Let her be aware that you will stop talking to her if she doesn't. If she doesn't listen, stick to your warning.I understand that she is very hurt by her experience but she can't change the past, your mind or your girlfriend. She needs to understand this.
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