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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: i have a daughter left in my country she is now 14 years old,i was away from her for a very long time since she was a little baby and the reason is i have to work abroad to support what she needs since her father left us for a new woman. shes now staying with my parents, even we're part for a long time to each other we never lose contact. i always call her we never lose communication and shes open to me.we keep on touch by phone,email etc.anyway that we can have contact.today i got an email from her saying she now have a boy friend'and it makes me so much scared' she is only 14 years old and very young to have a boy friend,im scared i dont want to happen to her what happen to me.i still try to calm down telling her that its ok to have a boyfriend but she should not take it so serious,that she should focus on her study first.but even she tell me that everything is ok'i still feel so scared' pls.help i dont know what im gonna do if she take her bf serious.pls. help i feel paranoid when the situation is about my daughter. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (23 December 2006):
 I am unsure what advice to give you sweetheart. I have a colleague who works here and her three children remain in the Phillipeans (is that spelt correctly?) Back home she has qualifications coming out of her ears, here she works for minimum wage AND goes to uni to get the same qualififcations here, in order to bring her children over AND support them. Admirable.
But it is killing her. She misses her children but realises that she needs to do this to raise their standard of living.
You sound like you are in the same boat as my friend and I really feel for you, especially ahving witnessed what my colleague has gone thru. I will ask for her advice on what to say to you to advise you.
XX
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2006): This must be extremely hard for you! Knowing your daughter so far and not being able to do anything. However, you must let her grow up and mature, you can't stop her from getting a boyfriend. My advice is that you be honest with her talk about things that concern you, ask her if she has any questions about the subject. But wahatever you do don't overprotect her or stop her from doing anything because that will make her rebel. Instead just give her some tips on how she can keep herself safe.
Best of luck xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2006): she has to be given time to mature. i know this is difficult for you, but she would sooner or later. and don't worry too much about her studies - sure, they may dip a bit, but it would probably be better for her to make mistakes now and learn than make them later when, say, preparing for university and then pay back - longer. take care, just keep going with your daughter and support her - maybe set a few ground rules with your parents? ask them about how they responded when you first started dating - but remember, times have developed, so maybe views have changed as well and each person is different, an individual.
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A
female
reader, sheffield_pink +, writes (14 December 2006):
She'll be fine. Me and my mum have always been open and that's the best thing. My mum got pregnant with twins at 17 and when I got serious at 16 she thought I was going to do the same. I didn't. Most pregnant teenagers don't have a good relationship with their mum. Aslong as you keep supporting her you shouldn't have to worry.
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