| A
female
age
51-59,
*arol00
writes: I was with a bi-polar guy for four and a half years the last one year married to him. he was really sick and verbally and mentally abusive. I finally got out of the relationship and am trying to move on with my life. He wanted a meeting with me a couple of weeks ago to put"closure to the relationship" When i got there he told me he still loved me and is a new person. I don't want anything to do with him. I almost had a nervouse breakdown becasue of the issues i had to deal with. He asked me why i married him and I can't answer that. I think i felt i had to try to get him help. i felt trapped and now i feel bad because i did that. My question is it this my fault he can't move on or is it the illness?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2006): well...you can try talking it out with his family...or not, depending on how they may respond. or you can tell them about your side of things - hey you've done your part! but if you really have no feelings left and feel all horrible, then, well maybe you shouldn't stay. about the guilty feelings, it's not your fault. you did what you thought was right - do not let what others say get to you, it's not for them to judge if you did was right or wrong.
A
female
reader, carol00 +, writes (14 December 2006):
carol00 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for advice. I have been having so many issues mostly guilt. I have no feelings left for him but still the guilt is there because I couldn't help him and feel like i have failed. His family blames me for the breakup and thinks I have just run away from the issues but they don't know what went on behind closed doors. Again thanks for your input and i do appreciate it!
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (13 December 2006):
 Your first mistake, or maybe your second, was to meet with him. You need to write him off. Period. He needs help that apparently he isn't getting. . . or maybe he is getting it now. In any event, if you don't want anything to do with him, tell him so and then walk away. Don't feel guilty for someone else's behavior.
Good luck!
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