A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My older sister and I are at our wits end with our younger sister. She is married with 2 kids that are 10 years apart in age (18 and 8). She treats the youngest, a sweet little girl, like crap and seems to resent her for ever being born. The oldest, a boy, is a grunting neanderthal, who was just arrested last month for burglarizing a house (luckily he was still 17 at the time).My younger sister drinks all of the time, and will go through almost three 1.75L bottles of vodka per week, mixing in some wine here and there. She is always threatening to divorce her husband, a really nice guy, who still loves her for some reason. And she goes away on weekends to visit her slutty girlfriend so they can go party on the town. I just found out that she is sleeping with the slutty girlfriend's neighbor when she goes away on these so called girl's weekends. She also slept with a group of guys in Aruba when she went on vacation with her slutty girlfriend last month. I feel bad for her husband.Last week she accompanied my older sister to a party where my older sister's husband works. It just so happens that my younger sister and my older sister's husband used to work for the same company 10 years ago and they know a lot of the same co-workers at that party. Well my younger sister got trashed and started looking through a photo album of the company from the past 20 years. She then began to declare very loudly all of the guys in the pictures that she slept with. Everyone's heads turned at the party as she yells out loud "I did that guy" and "I did that guy". You get the picture. It was mortifying for my older sister. The next day when my older sister confronted her about her behavior, she said she didn't remember.My younger sister does not see that she has a problem with drinking and the sluttiness and is not willing to entertain the idea of cleaning up her act. With her alcohol-soaked brain she has gotten very egocentric and everything is about her and what makes her happy. She said her life is very stressful and she is at odds with her marriage and that she needs the booze to cope. From her actions it seems like she wants out of her marriage, out of her job, and out of her family obligations. All she wants to do is lay around, screw her brains out, and get hammered. She is seeing a therapist, but that seems to be pointless.If you have a drunken, slutty sibling that doesn't see a problem with their life style and is unwilling to consider giving up the bottle, is there anything that can be done? Do we just wait until something bad happens and she hits rock bottom?
View related questions:
co-worker, divorce, drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010):
Yeh it can happen sober , drunk, stoned, but what has it got to do with her BROTHER who she has sex with anyway. According to him all her friends are sluts and neighbours are sluts, sounds odd to me,because she gets plenty sex and holidays and he does not OH AND GETS INVITED TO OFFICE PARTIES AND HE DOES NOT.
The reality here!!!! IS A BROTHER who is CALLING HIS SISTER nothing but a brainsoaked slutty sibling, thats the only reality that this poster paints. Where does it say he actually cares for her? His problem is not only his sister but his VIEW of his sister. If she has a drink addiction then should he be more concerned with THIS rather than who SHE HAS SEX WITH? Now if it were her husband saying this about the sex etc then i would have a different opinion.
Just because somebody has an addiction we should not call them worthless names (especially family how hurtful) maybe if she felt that family cared she might seek help but as long as she is CALLED A WORTHLESS SLUTTY SIBLING by those closest to her she will feel worthless and nodoubt act on it. I am not calling the brother a liar i am just saying what i see FIRST and it's a strong dislike verging on a hate for his sister,she probably will hit rock bottom in the end and all this talk will help her on the way. I understand that IF she is this bad that he is at his wits end and hurt himself and does not know what to do, but anger will only make it worse. Maybe he could do with some help ( to deal with his own feelings ) so he can COPE BETTER.
I do look at all sides and quite right we only have his at the moment, but i also see the shadows.
Spunky monkey :)
A
female
reader, Jesc +, writes (18 August 2010):
 You have a point,
Just seemed more along the lines that she was more in the right, than wrong according to you first comment.
Well, Maybe the older sister brought her to something that ment a lot for her? Like a promotion? Kinda deal. I would have invited her for other reasons as well, Maybe to see if she really is like this. But it is risky to bring her towards my workplace.
Personally If I had a little sister with this behavior I would be working on getting her help. Turning her in. Calling someone to help.ETC I would not wait for something bad to happen or even rock bottom...Rock bottom to some people is like Dante's Hell. It's not a very good idea.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): Only me AUNT POPPY X JESC XRegards this posting How do any of us even know if he is telling the whole truth about his sister anyway, everyone has jumped to the defence of the so called RESPECTABLE one, yet his words were not very respectfull of his sister were they ?If she is as bad as he says why did the older sister take the risk of knowingly inviting a slutty alco to an office party? Doe's not ring true.I agree that Alcohol is NEVER an excuse for anything i was making a point ...the brother's bad mouthing i found NO EXCUSE FOR.A.Jesc I do look at ALL POINTS hence not pre judging the slutty sister, however i can judge the words of the brother because that is his side of th story. You have no need to feel sorry for me in any way shape or form but i appreciate your concern, but it is wasted on me i am not the one with a problem. The only Sadness in my life comes to me when people want to hurt others.Maybe he is tired of helping her,
...............................
A
female
reader, Jesc +, writes (18 August 2010):
Hmm, touchy subject.
spunky monkey- There is no excuse for making mistakes in life other than I did it. I should take blame. I would hate the idea of one day I turn to the drink and blame that for treating my family like crap. Obviously something sad has happen in your past and I am very sorry for that. But try to see where he is coming from. Maybe he has tried to help her, for a long time now. Maybe he did try to cut ties. You should try to look at all points.
Personally. OP. I would let her know it's getting out of hand. I was disgusted at how she has no common sense for her children. I become very offended when someone treats or does not even act like a parent to their own kids.
You should take her to an AA go with her hold her hand on these steps. Try to have a family intervention talk to her let her know she is messing up her life(Family, Children, Siblings,etc)
I hope for the best. Good Luck to you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): Im sorry spunky monkey (previous comment ) but alcohol is not an excuse for disruptive vile or antisocial behaviour. my father beat me senseless as a child and used alcohol as an excuse for it. it is not an illness its self inflicted. people make the choice to drink. But i do agree that (anon man?) u need to stop being so nasty about it, swearing shouting and slanderizing isnt going to help stop the situation from getting out of hand. Make sure that she is aware that people know what shes up to, and that some of her behaviour is not acceptable. (the affair is her and her husbands buisness no1 elses) If u so wish then let your sister know that you are there.find AA meetings in your local area and offer to take her there. encourage her to see her doctor about her alcohol problem and remind her that her children need her and its not fair if they have to see her like this, its no wonder her oldest is off the rails and getting aressted. good luck . x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): AT LEAST SHE HAS AN EXCUSE FOR BEEN LIKE SHE IS ..ALCOHOL.What about YOU? whats your excuse for all the nasty name calling of your kid sister and your nephew. You sound such a bitter man almost sounds like you gang up on her. You say she's egocentric about wanting to be happy, is that not her right to be happy when she obviously is very unhappy.You may well be fed up with your little sisters antics and ashamed of her and her ILLNESS. LOVE HER! GIVE HER LOVE! DON;T TALK SO CRUEL about her, it offends me to read your hard words, they are by far WORSE than her's. The lack of warmth and love in your words will send her to rock bottom without the drink. Either be her Big brother and try and love her to help her OR cut the ties completly.
...............................
|
