A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am in the middle of Divorcing my wife. The reasons why are long - but in summary she has abused me for 20 years, including physically and now broken the law and destroyed our lives. Her case has been pending for over a year.After I filed for divorce, I have been having a relationship with a woman I have loved for 25 years. We both just adore each other. Soul Mates?I must admit, I have dragged the divorce along very slow due to many many complicated factors. Including two teenage children..... I am definatly toward the end of my divorce being final. Perhaps another month. My soon to be ex is begging and pleading and threatening - all which makes is more difficult for us all..... NOW!!!The love of my life has lost patience with me and my divorce. She is scared I will return to my wife. I do not blame her at all. But I love her dearly, always have!! But 5 days ago she said goodbye and asked that I not contact her for any reason. Of course I have slipped twice and sent a couple emails. Not long or deeply emotional e-mails, but sent two none the less. I cannot believe she never wants to speak to me again. I am confused!! How can she turn off like that so quick? I know she loves me very much.Should I respect what she has said and accept it could be totally over? (VERY PAINFUL) Meaning NEVER reach out again? orKeep hoping she will let down her guard and at least talk to me? Should I stop all trying? Until Divorce Final?I realize this makes me look like a whining, crying, love-lorn man - But I truly, deeply love this woman and am mourning the loss. She was my best friend.... I could spend the rest of my life with her!!!Let me have it - and I thank you!!
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 October 2010):
 She did not turn off "so quick " ! You admit you have dragged this divorce on for a long long time, and I am sure she must have given you before signs of impatience and loosing faith , that you have conveniently dismissed.
From her point of view, what's the problem if your wife pleads begs and threaten ? Let her plead beg and threatan! : when one is deat set on doing something, he DOES it, and the rest are excuses.
So I am not surprised about her reaction, it's just a case of bad timing.
Luckily for you, it seems the situation is not beyond repair. If really it will only take one more month to finalize your divorce, I'd say you are fine. It's unlikely she will be able to totally move on from you in one month, even if she wants to, if she loved you all this time. She must be just tired of hearing " one more month ". So, less words, more actions - DO close officially the door on your marriage, THEN I am sure any negotiations with this woman will be easy and smooth to be restarted .
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