A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I began dating a guy a few months ago and it didn't take long to figure out that he is absolutely the love of my life. My daughter, 20 and reeling from a broken engagement, met my new love's younger brother and has began a relationship with him. I find this oddly disturbing seeing how our private lives are continually intersecting since my boyfriend and his brother live in the same house. No one seems to understand why I am upset...can someone please help me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): I can understand why this would be uncomfortable, though I don't think you should be embarrassed to acknowledge that both you and your daughter have healthy sex lives!Surely the simple answer is for you not to straighten out the living arrangements? You could cease to visit your boyfriend's house and instead conduct your relationship in the privacy of your own home (he could even move in!). Alternatively, your daughter could see her boyfriend only at her house. If those things are not possible, you could talk to your daughter, and see if you can arrange to work around each other so as to avoid both being in the house at the same time. This sounds like a practical problem, and there's bound to be a practical answer to it somewhere!
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (20 March 2011):
 I can understand how you must be feeling, I like to keep my mother hat and adult behaviour such as relationships, hats separate as well.
There are no practical solutions, this is something you are going to have to sort out in your mind, and trick your brain into believing its all okay. Perhaps you could try explaining to your boyfriend with the different hats for different roles analogy, its not going to change the situation, but at least he might start to understand where you are coming from and why it makes you feel uncomfortable.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): as harsh as this sounds, ur daughter is a grown woman and u can not tell her who she can and cant be with. Its unfair of u to expect them to stop seeing eachother just because u find it strange that your boyfriends live in the same house. Be happy for your daughter, you never know, he could turn out to be the love of her life
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