A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 3 yrs cheated on me while I was pregnant with our 1st child got that woman pregnant. I found out on the night of his baby shower from his male cousin. It really hurts, I keep going back and fort whether to stay or to leave. Family is really important to be but I honestly see no future with us together. I want to get married someday and he says he will never marry. What should I do ?
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cheated on me, cousin Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): Dump him, sue for child support and get a good lawyer. Do to him what he's done to you.
A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (20 March 2011):
My wife cheated on me and I know the pain that comes with it. It not the act that hurts as much as the emotional tolls that it brings with it. It will remain with you forever, but at some point if you want it to work then you must find away within yourself to let this go or the relationship is done...over. I would walk now if I were you. 8 years later, I no longer wanted her and we divorced.A cheater will always cheat!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): Do NOT stay with him. He doesn't seem to care and since he doesn't Treat u gud I doubt he will b nice to Urs and his child. Find a nice guy who u no wouldnt cheat and leave u and ur child.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (20 March 2011):
 He says he will never marry. He gets other women pregnant when you already are, he is not interested in having only one partner, AND he doesn't practice safe sex. Listen to what he is saying, with his words and his actions.He is saying he doesn't care about you, or your hopes and dreams for your future. The best thing you can do for you and your baby is to walk away now and build the future YOU want, without this negative light weight man weighing you down.
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A
female
reader, bernergirl +, writes (20 March 2011):
 I'm sorry sweetie. First of all let me say this situation sucks! I know a little bit of what you're going through because I have been through something very similar. I know you want to hold together your idea of family. But in this case I truly believe it would be better if you get out. You deserve better and so does your child. You have to show your child it is not okay for someone to mistreat you...NO MATTER WHAT! He has told you, he will never marry...that means he will never marry, and he doesn't care enough about you to try and give you what you want. However, you are both parents. So now you have to co-parent and put your child's interest first. I would leave and show him what he is missing. Perhaps he will grow up. But from his current actions, something tells me he is going to keep repeating. And if you give him another chance then he will keep repeating the same behavior because he got away with it once and you let him back so that will tell him he can do whatever to you with no consequences. You need to make him accountable for his actions. That means he needs to pay child support. He needs to be a responsible adult and most of all he needs to treat you with respect. This is not going to be an easy transition for you or your child. I would definitely let people who care about you know what is going on. Your friends, your family, your doctor (I say doctor because I needed antidepressants and sleep medication to get through) I would also tell everyone what he did to you. People who cheat live in shadows, they lie, they sneak around...the best thing you can do is let people know who he is, because his act only works to those who buy into it. If they know he is full of b.s. then people will treat him like he deserves. I wish you luck and keep me posted on how things go.
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