A
female
age
51-59,
*ezz
writes:I've recently found out my 19 year daughter has been having an affair for just under a year with a married man of 39. His wife has known for 10 months and didn't until a few days ago choose to tell me. I feel as though my world has been turned upside down and finding it difficult to comes to terms with the lies and hurts. I have always had a good relationship with my daughter and can't believe she has been living a lie for so long. This man has even tried to befriend me and other members of my family and has called our home on several occasions to make excuses, like asking her to babysit, to see my daughter. At home we've had the typical parental don't do this arguements and he apparenlty has been a shoulder to cry on. I feel he has manipulated my daughter and she had called an end to the affair in May but he has pestered her afterwards when his wife asked him to leave. My daughter had been seeing someone new but he has managed to destroy that by telling her he needs her. Her dad has ask her to leave and she is now living with him. How do I get through to her and make her see there is no future with this man?
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female
reader, DIE-romantic. +, writes (4 July 2007):
 She can take care of herself, and like flowergirl said, you are more likely to push her away, and she'll feel you are impossible to talk to. Parents should support their children no matter what really, throughout whatever mistakes they make, because they can learn from them, she doesnt need it in her ear, she'll find out for herself. You can totally disagree with what shes doing, but she needs your support, if you dont give it to her, shes going to carry on and when she gets hurt she has no-one to talk to, because she wont want to talk to you because of the 'i told you so'. The best thing you can do, is step back. She will respect you more for letting her get on with it, and make her decisions as an adult, she probably feels you are still treating her like a 13 year old. And thats shes unable to make up her own mind. Hope ive helped. Sorry if i seem harsh.D.R
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (4 July 2007):
 AS a parent i think the more we try to get involved the further we are likely to push them away, she is your daughter and you love her and sometimes thats all we can do love them and just be there for them when it all goes wrong.
I know and understand your concerns, but she is an adult now and ok she is young, but sometimes we need to leave them to make there own mistakes and hopefully learn from them at the same time.
Take care.xx.
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