A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am unsure of what to do in an increasingly complex situation. Theres this man who works for my dad, has done for the last 5 years. He has lived with us for 2, as his 'home' its too far to travel every day to work, he goes home to his wife at the weekends. Recently my parents bought the pub nextdoor to us and I have been working behind the bar. This man who works my parents *james*, drinks alot and so I see him every night. He's taken some kind of liking to me; he told me his lifestory, how he was abused as kid and things with his wife, and an affair he had (the man is 50), and he says I am a good listener. He has started making really weird creepy comments to me all of the time, e.g. i was asking him which beer he wanted handling the beer pumps and he said, 'you grab it like that with both hands and I'll always say yes', and the manager said to me 'when your tipsy...' and *james cut him off suddenly saying 'blow me' (to me). He touches me all of the time, trying to tickle me, saying how gorgeous I look, trying to touch my feet. He says he hasnt had sex in 9 months and refers to me as 'my lover', he asked me for a cuddle. He asked me whether I like bouncing, he said he 'wasnt going to say what he was in the mood for', he said he'd like to see me with a girl, he took a picture of me with his phone, he ran his hand up the inner of my leg and hes slapped my bum. I have told him not to, I do chastise him each time he does it.. but thats the point - each time. He isn't stopping, I did like him and he works for my dad, hes my dads best friend. I feel like its difficult to do something when i see him so much, almost like I dont want to make a fuss. Anyone have any ideas?
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female
reader, amenthyst3356  +, writes (25 April 2010):
Definitely tell your parents and make a huge fuss about it. By the sound of it he is escalating and soon he will just rape you, he won't care about your chastisements. You have to gather the courage and just say something, if you need proof have the manager back up with what he has seen. This is a very serious issue. You need to get help fast.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2010): Make a massive deal about it, tell your mum , complain to your mum for hours
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A
male
reader, PM  +, writes (24 April 2010):
 It sounds as though you're in a bit of a difficult situation. You seemed worried about this man's friendship with your dad, but this man also seems to be getting out of hand. It's normal that you are feeling a little lost.
One thing that I'm a little confuse about, however, is that you say you work in a bar. As a girl who works in a bar, I'd expect you to encounter, fairly regular, men who hit on you and may say things to you that are inappropriate. How do you handle them and what is preventing you from handling this man in the same way?
I think something that would be helpful to know is how you feel about him. You are obviously an intelligent girl, so I'm curious as to why you do not tell him to stop doing these things. You mention that you used to like him, do you still like him? If not, then I suggest you tell him to stop and if he doesn't to tell your dad. Worst case scenario, in my mind, is to go to the police and report him for harassing you.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 April 2010):
 Are you kidding ?? DO make a fuss. A BIG fuss.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 April 2010):
 YUCK! What a dirty old man. You don't have to put up with it. You must not be chastising him strongly enough, and by all means tell your dad and maybe this dirty man's wife, who will not like the idea of this guy perving all over you.
You may want to invest in some pepper spray as well.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (24 April 2010):
 If I was your dad I'd want to know. So tell him. He ought to take this cad aside and have sharp words with him. You're being harrassed, and no one deserves that.
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