A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My father was accused and found guilty of indecent assualt on a child.the story is really long so i will cut it short as possible.The girl was my brother ex gfs daughter. My brother and his ex gf would argue constantlyMy father would be called early hours in the morning to go and pick up the children because of the aruging. My mother would get fed up with having the children at her home 24-7, after all her children had grown up it was meant to be her turn for a bit of peace. My father was a dedicated grandfather and always made sure all of his grandchildren were well looked after, he accepted this girl as his grandaughter and treated her the same as his own grandchildren. We all accpeted her as a part of our family.but then my brother finally broke up with his gf and from then on we never saw the kids again. 2 years ago, my parents got a knock at the door, standing there was a young girl - my brothers ex gfs daughter. We were happy to see her but this girl was no longer the girl we had all once known. She too was taking drugs and sleeping with boys at the age of only 13-14. Her mother dumped her on her parents, her real father didnt want to know. So she had turned up to the only other family she knew. But i know this sound horrible we turned her away because she was so much trouble and wouldnt help herself.6 months after telling her to leave and clean her act up. a police man knocked on my parents door and arrested my father for rape. She said my father had done all sorts of things to her when she was 5years up to 9years old. i read her statements and omg the lies.My whole family and all our friends KNOW my father isnt capable of what this girl is saying.A jury of 12- 4 men and 6 women found my dad guilty on 6 counts of indecent assault, and the rape charges were drop as she wasnt consistant with her evidence, there was NO PYSICAL evidence, it was only HER word against HIS.I cannot believe that a jury has found my father guilty, he is nothing like what she said he is. He is in prison and is finding life very difficult, as we are finding it hard without him. His four grandchildren are in a mess because they had such a close relationship with him.My mother is finding it hard coping with paying the bills, my sister is now taking anti depresants, and my brother cannot talk about it because he blames himself for ever getting mixed up with his ex gf. my whole family is in a mess, my father has been branded a peadophile. Everyone in our small minded town always assume there was DNA or something, they cannot believe that it was only her WORD against his. My father stood trial and our legal team didnt have ONE person stand up and say he is a good man, the whole case was only her against him no one else said anything. She was so good they found my father guilty!!I am finding it hard to cope myself but feel i have to be strong for everyone else. But it really is starting to get on top of me now, my work is starting to go down hill as i am always making mistakes because i am not sleeping so when i do get to work im so tired i cannot concentrate.I cannot bear to see my dad in prison, i know in my heart he did not commit any of the crimes she is saying as do all of my family.How do i stay strong for everyone else when all i want to do is break down due to this INJUSTICE that has happened to my father.i say to anyone called to do jury, THINK before you judge, remember making such a harsh decision on chosing whether someone is guilty or not, does not just affect the person who is sent to prison but it affects the whole family.i dont know how to make this better, i dont know how to stay strong and i want to bring my dad home and i cant
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2012): i know this is old, but im doing a bit of researching. don't know whether you'll see this, i hope you do. my dad has just been found guilty of 5 offences of indecent assault on his ex-wife's daughter [although he is completely innocent]. he has his sentencing tomorrow, and me and my family are terrified. he's a father of 5 girls and 1 boy, my youngest siblings being 9 and such daddies girls. we dont know what we're going to do without him, he is the rock of our family. and to make things worse, he's just come out of hospital with sciatica and a trapped nerve, therefore making him vulnerable. can i ask how long your father was sentenced to? and whether you appealed?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Black Diamond
It has been said a million and one times that the solicitors just didnt bother digging deep enough and basically couldnt be bothered to put the effort in.
The biggest mistake on our part of it was thinking all solicitors deal in every type of case. We only found out a year into the battle that they wouldnt normal take on such a case like this, so that just goes to show they were probably new at it all.
I totally understand everyones opinion of having to move away if it gets to much. And i will always put my children first before anything, so far the bullying seems to have stopped because the school have jumped right onto it, so i am hoping that it will be the end of it. I have a very close relationship with both of my children and we talk all the time. My oldest child who is 12 years old does not want to move away, but i have told both of my children that if they feel its too hard then they just have to say the word and we will up and pack and jog on out of this town.
I have days where i just want to berry my head in the sand or just move away myself, but when i see how everyone else in my family are being so strong it makes me want to stick it out too. But if my children become more effected by this then there is no choice on the matter i will move as far away as possible.
Thanks for the response it was much appreicated x x
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female
reader, black_diamond329 +, writes (23 January 2007):
 Good luck to you on your retrial. I do hope that this round is more successful and your dad gets the outcome that he deserves. Perhaps you could try changing legal teams cos this lots sound like a waste of space! They are only concerned about trying to get the fairest sentence and not about really digging deep for the truth. Perhaps they don't even believe your dad and thought that dropping the rape charges but still having indecent assault was more likely to succeed than just going for not guilty completely (in which case they might have lost). Good for you too that you don't want to move away but as the last post was saying that's really unfair on your little boy the treatment he is getting. Maybe if it gets worse you should consider what effect this is having on the kids in the family. Just becuase you lot can hack it doesn't mean that they have the strength and confidence to do likewise so keep that in mind. I wish you all the luck in this tough and trying time in your life and just remember things can only get better
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey Black Diamond,
thank you for your comments, My father hasnt been sentenced yet, it was meant to take place last week but the judge wasnt in court for reasons i do not know and he has stated he would like to sentence my father so we are waiting on a new date for him to be sentenced.
I am not a child i am over 30 years of age and have children, but ya know sometimes i wish i was a kid because living in bliss would be far easier than living with and having to deal with all this.
As for witnesses there were none!! i honest belief to the whole case is the defence thought they would win, but half way through realised it was a lot tougher than they ever imagined and by then it was too late.
we had 6 witnesses on stand by to stand up for my father but they were never called. My brother for starters should have been the first person they should have called, because he was this girls step father he would have been able to tell the jury and the court that this girl never left their home on her own that she would always leave with her two brothers. there are so many cock ups its unbelieveable. as for the solicitors they dont care its legal aid they are getting paid either way. There are certain things we can prove that was never ever taken into court but the legal team dont even want to try for an appeal, they are not prepared to listen as far as they are concerned they have done their job and they have won by getting the rape charges dropped. It has been said there was some type of 'deal' done with the defence and prosecution behind my fathers back.
My dad has had his pre-sentence report done, and he feels it never went well, he was told if he was to admit guilt he wouldnt have to do the max. sentence. My fathers answer to that was, you can keep me in jail for life and i will never admit to committing the crimes i have been accused of. This we are told is denial, its not denial at all he will never admit to it because he never did it. If he was to admit guilt he could do a lessor sentence and be home with his family in no time, but he knows we are going to campaign and fight for a fair re-trail with witnesses to take the stand on both sides so he lives in hope we will succeeed in doing so, but he is prepared to take the full sentence not because he done it because he didnt do it and will not admit to guilt.
as for my family moving, i guess they are stronger than i ever realised, there is no way they will move, we hold our heads up high because we honestly do know the truth.
Though i can tell you its hard, when your 7 year old son is being bullied, you wouldnt ever think at that age children could be so darn hurtful.
We are going to stay in this town and we are going to fight against it and we know that my father may be released until his name is cleared, we are never going give up!
Though the pressure of things will always be on top of us, we know its the right thing to do!
Thanks again for your comments i have taken everything on board from everyone...
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female
reader, black_diamond329 +, writes (22 January 2007):
Hey there I'm sorry to read your story there. Sounds like you got it really bad. Few things I'd like to clear up for you cos I'm a law student 1 - DNA is not required 2 - As you said rape is really difficult to prove without DNA evidence so usually they can use a test for something that happened years ago to back up the womans case eg past offences or behaviour of a similar nature of the accused. 3 - if this is used then your father would have been allowed to have witnesses to establish his character however this sort of evidential material is allowed at the judges choice so it may have been that his lawyer had tried to use this but not been allowed. Or had he been allowed the girls lawyers could cross examine him and make his character appear worse so it's not always the best option. 4 - Sometimes appeals are possible have you spoken to your lawyer about this?
Now I got all that outta the way lets talk about the effects this is having on you. I actually know someone who has a similar problem in his family (only this guy really did do it) and he lives in a small community so they are all finding it really hard. It is gonna take you a long time to get ur head round all of this but trust me it will get better. Shit happens sometimes and things can never be the same way again but you have to be brave and deal with it like an adult. I'd love to say that people will forget and stop accusing etc but they won't for something like this and unless you feel u and ur family are strong enough to deal with this I think the first thing you should do is move to another place as it is probably the best chance for a new start and when your dad gets out you wont have to worry about him getting more abuse. Also if you move somewhere smalled your mum can stop worrying about the bills. The relationships with your father will be weird for a while even after he gets out but if you all truely believe he isn't capable of this then they will mend and trust will be regained again. Once you move away things will start to get better and they are right when they say time heals all wounds. People are wrongly imprisioned all of the time. It isn't right or fair but its life and you should look on the bright side that we dont have capital punishment anymore! Again I'm guessing although it is still an agrevatted assault indecent assault it shouldn't have as lengthy sentence as rape would so again try to think about how soon it will be when he gets out. This is a really shit deal uv got here but u gotta b brave for everyone else and do things you dont wanna do so in the end everyone can be happy again and u will get over it and forget bout it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionfirstly i must say that my father never just picked up his step granddaughter at the early hours of the morning, he also picked up his two grandsons her brothers!
This girl said she was alone with my father all the time, THIS IS NOT TRUE, it cannot be true and i know that for a FACT!
There was no evidence what so ever, it was her words against his and that was it, her word put my father in prison.
As for the 'lawyers' what a joke i think they were on her side not ours, everything my family and father advised them to do, their reply would be 'its not really worth going down that track, this isnt about proving your innocence this is about the prosecution proving your gulit'
her real grandparents shut the door on her because of her running away all the time, she didnt like the rules her grandparents set her.
Oh and the reason i said about her having underage sex is because she lied about being pregnant, she said she was pregnant by her boyfriend who sore they never even had sex, but came clean in the end and said its because she just wants a family of her own.
I know my family turning our back on her was hard on her, she had already been through enough already with everyone turning their backs on her, but just because we did that is it fair she can say such horrible things.
even after she made these allegations about my father she was outside my home nearly everyday, i would have to drag my kids in from playing with her friends because WE WASNT ALLOWED NEAR HER, YET SHE WAS ALLOWED TO STAND OUTSIDE MY HOME NEARLY EVERY DAY!!
The rape charges were dropped by the prosecution because she said she THINKS he might of had intercourse with her. think, possibly or maybe isnt a FACT!! most of what she said was she thought of yeah maybe Or yeah he probably did not YES HE DID!!
she had submissions from carers and school teachers my father had no submissions from anyone because we were told it wasnt needed in a case like this. We had proof of some of her lies we had witnesses to even stand up and say this couldnt have happened. In one year she said it happened my father wasnt even at the house he was working away!!
I have two close friends that have been raped, even they say how does she remember so much detail is beyond them considering she is saying she was only 5years old up to 9years old, but hey what do i know!!
the trail took 5 days and took a jury less than 45 minutes to make their minds.
There is so much that should of happened in court but Never happened.
As for pheadphiles chosing their victims you are right yes they do but why her? why not choose his niece that was living with them at the time, she was vonuerbale as she wouldnt go back home to live with her parents for other reasons, my parents took her in and gave her a home, she was only a child he had every opportunity to do things to her but did nothing, he even had every opportunitiy to do things to his own daughters but done nothing!
I didnt go into the full facts of my fathers case because i knew i would need to write a novel in doing so.
i came here because i just needed a little bit of emotional support for myself nothing more, a kick up the backside to say, be strong your get there!!!!!!!!
My family support my father in every way and we are starting our campaign for this miscarriage of injustice.
My father wanted a polygraph lie detector test, but was told it wasnt worth it because the british courts would not allows this in our courts.
we are fighting at present to get a lie detector test done while he is in prison.
my father hasnt been sentence yet as it was only a couple of months ago he was found guilty. We are trying to prepare in every way for our appeal, we want to get it right and we will not have our solicitors telling us what way to go, we will be telling them what way to go.
As for my father with hookers and stuff like that omg you are so off track you had judge on things you have read, my father has NEVER ever done any such thing.
IF I BELIEVED FOR ONE MOMENT THAT MY FATHER COULD HAVE DONE EVEN ONE OF THE THINGS SHE HAS SAID ABOUT HIM. I WOULD WANT HIM TO BURN IN HELL!!
i am sorry it seems i come across angry or what ever you choose it, but this is my family, you put yourself in my shoes, if you cant your NEVER know how i am feeling and how hard it is to get up every day attend to my children because they are crying because they are so deperate to see their grandfather but have been told they are not allowed because he is a flipping pheadiphile. Until you have lived and breathed my life in the last 18months you do not know and cannot judge my thoughts and feelings, i have every right to be angry at this girl because I KNOW HE IS INNOCENT!!
and for those that gave me the positive thoughts and gestures i thank you because thats what i needed. i didnt come here to be judged or even try and prove my fathers innocence to you because thats not what i have to do because i know the truth!
I just wanted to know i am going to be ok...
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2007): Unfortunately, there are is a lot of deal making before a case will go to trial with a jury. The lawyers from each "side" meet and they do get to decide what evidence to use. They meet before a judge before trial and have to write up their affidavits and introduce their evidence and case. Once affidavits are entered it is hard to bring up any other facts, evidence, witnesses as the original documentation is what brings the matter to court and it is this hearing or meeting that both lawyers have to work with.
So the real issue of complaint would have to lie with the lawyer your Father/Family hired. Your Lawyer would have to take your Father's advice into consideration so what did your Father advise?
You all need family counselling as well as individual counselling.
Have you read over your Dad's responses to the young girls claims?
Have you read over case laws over statue of limitations on how long or how many months or years a claim can be "valid"? I think in Canada it is 10 years.
Were there any other witnesses that were called upon? Were psyche analysises made on plantiff and defendent? Were there prior criminal records that would effect this matter? In cases like this, you Dad's activities would have been monitored beforehand. Before the intial charge or arrest. In most cases such as this; this is a common practice. Computer files/hard drives would have been seized. Had Dad ever hired underage prostitution? Gone to strip clubs? Have done anything that would put his reputation on the line?
Factors such as these do are considered valid in cases of sexual abuse.
In cases of a minor, there would have to be pshycharatrists as well as psycologists involved. Plus your Dad would have to have undergone testing and evaluations.
It is very rare that such a case would be taken to court with just her word against his word. So lets be subjective and introduce some truth into all of this.
There would have to be a CASE which means plausible cause or a great amount of statements and events that would make the girls claims become valid.
I don't understand why your Mother and Father would not have the foresight to avoid such a situation where their integrity would be put into question.
Time and again I have cautioned and explained why people need to excercise careful judgements and how to avoid situations where their integrity would be in jeapordy.
Having an adult male setting out in the wee hours of the morning to pick up a lone young female child is not excercising good judgement.
I would not allow for my BF to pick up a young girl... I would get my own ass out of bed to pick up the young girl.
If it were you and your word against some one who may have done things to you and your person and it was after time had passed and there were no physical evidence and you had no family to support you-how would you feel? Would you keep it to yourself? Would this be the right thing to do? Would you be scared to be honest out of fear others would hate and ridicule you? Would you weigh that you would have it harder in having friends? Does it make you less worthy of having justice served because of your mother's choice of lifestyle that would teach you a poor way of living and teach you you have no real worth or value because you do drugs and have underaged sex? How many other youth in your town have underaged sex? Yet they are more credible, more trustworthy?
This type of casting is not far off from saying that a black person deserves no justice because the color of their skin as their skin color predetermines them liars and unworthy of being treated as equals.
So be careful with your judgements which are heavily expressed.
I have done reading on peadophiles and serial rapists and even violent abusers and they all have one thing in common. They choose their victims carefully. They are good at what they do and know who to target.
Why not pick some child who others would declare as being uncredible because her Mother is a drug abuser, free with her body and who will pass this way of life to her daughter? Would that not be a perfect victim?
In the end this was decided on in court. It has had terrible consequences to the decision.
An innocent man may be in jail. A guilty man may be in jail.
Your anger, resentment, confusion, pain and loyalty are all valid.
Please seek out some counselling to help you better deal with your anger, pain, and greiving process and healing process. You don't have to be the strong one, you don't have to be alone.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, emokid +, writes (21 January 2007):
 What you need to do is visit your dad as often as possible, reassure your brother that its not his fault, try to support your mother and try to smile.This is a lot to do but if you start to then so will your whole family.All the best.
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