A
female
age
41-50,
*howstopper
writes:I love my DAD some what. All my life he help me, gave me aplace to stay, and send me money when needed. He never live with me, i don't know to much about him, hes from Ga im from Va, he see me maybe every 3 or 4 years. I never met my family in Ga before only talk on the phone 1 or 2 times. He also has a son and daughter thats older than me in Ga. He is now sick and i don't no what to do if something were to happen to him because of the fact that we didn't have a BOND. He also use to travel alot too for his job. I don't really feel to much of anything for him reminding that he took care of me but wasen't there with me at all. How do i over come this feeling or should i feel like this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): You are right by saying that it's hard to care for him because he wasn't around much.Not having your father around in childhood is a horrible thing that takes effects on so many people.
But even know he wasn't around if he is in bad shape you should still go see him and try to show your respects
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): This man has helped you all his life, he gave you a place to stay and gave you money when needed. Although not perfect, he obviously cares for you in his own way, he tried to make sure you were comfortable and he thought about you.
This man is now sick. He gave you some support. I think it's fair that you now give him a little of that support back. You don't have to love him, you don't have to like him, you don't even have to respect him. Just be kind, give him back a little of the help that he gave to you. Go and see him if you can, it will brighten his day and make him happy.
If he dies, then you will know you have done the right thing and will have no regrets about what you should have/could have done.
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A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (13 June 2008):
 Nor is money an adequate replacement for actual time spent together.
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A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (13 June 2008):
I know that what I am going to say really does not help you or answer your question. My boyfriend has an ex girlfriend who lives out of country. They never lived in the same town and broke up before she got married and had kids. Now though, since the kids were 5 and 8 (because the Dad was out of the picture) he has been sending them money and goes to visit them every 2-4 years (having seen them about 5 times now for anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks). He seems to think that this forms a bond and that they are like his 'own children' and that they think of him AS THEIR DAD. I think it is all malarky and that they are taking advantage of him. Seeing your post only reinforces that I am right and in a few years when they are your age they will just look back on him as a nice guy who took care of them, but there wont be the bond that he seems to think there will be. Money does not equal love.
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