A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 16, in year 11 and in 3 weeks I will be doing my GCSE exams. Last year I found out my dad was cheating on my mum, she already knew about it and it had been going on for 3 years. My family (me, mum, dad and brother) all talked about it and wanted to know the inside story. I won't go into it because it's very long, but my dad was still staying in the house, my mum and him have been married for 30 years so I would understand why she didn't kick him out. Last week he raised his hand on her and she decided to kick him out so he is now living with one of his family members. There were so many fights and arguments every single day and it has calmed down as he is not living with us anymore.. But the situation between my mum and my dad seems to linger around at the back of my mind. When I'm out of the house I never think about it, but it still bothers me. I have only told one friend of mine, but they aren't that helpful. They don't understand when I'm upset or angry for no reason. I seem to get so frustrated with anyone or anything so quickly and things seem to annoy me straight away. I was like this before, but I had more patience with people and I was more happier, I guess.It does bother me, but whenever I talk to somebody about it I want to change the topic. The topic seems to annoy me a lot and I get angry and walk off or start shouting. I am not really able to control the anger I have because I feel I have bottled it up inside of me for too long. I dislike it when people start asking me how I am because of the situation, such as my mum, brother, friends, aunts, uncles..My family keep saying 'Don't let it get to you', but how can I not? My brother is in University so he said he is able to cope with it easily as he only comes home once a week. However, it bothers him too but his friends are much more understanding as they are older and more mature. I have quite a lot of coursework to hand in by next week as I will be going on study leave on the 30th April 2009 and the coursework will have to be marked and handed in to the exam board. But I'm just not able to cope with it. The family situation stresses me out so much I can't revise, whenever I want to talk to somebody about it I know I will end up getting annoyed so I just keep it in. I would like to talk to somebody at school but I don't really feel the teachers are understanding as I know how they can be. I really want to pass my exams and get good grades, but this 'thing' keeps roaming around in my head.. Making me more angry, stressed, annoyed and I get to the point where I can't be bothered with my work or revision so I just end up going to sleep.My mum doesn't tend to bottle things up, and as I'm the only one at home, she talks to me about her feelings. I don't blame her for it, because I know shes's much more hurt than I am, but the constant reminder of what my dad has done makes me angry, upset and annoyed. But I don't really tend to show it, unless someone gets on my nerves.What can I do about the family situation? Who can I talk to about my coursework and the deadlines I have to meet by next week?
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female
reader, Lavendre  +, writes (21 April 2009):
 Hey im having my CXC exams this year cause im in the caribbean and my dad is also cheating on my dad and its practically killing me. my mother deserves better than this and my father knows it and that is what hurts me she's only been with one guy in her life and thats my dad and my dad is cheating with people in our community and to make things worst i heard rumors of him having an outside child. my mum is really stressing out and seeing my mommy cry is killing me whats worst is that my mom is trying to keep strong. my mom is kind of a fighter though ive seen her beat girls until their elbow bones are literally sticking out so i guess she will handle it but i hate my dad for doing this. Keep in the fate take this from a stressing teen like yourself i can honestly say i know what it feels like.
Goodluck
You can email me @ privately on the page if you'd like to chat
Luv
Lavendre
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): Sorry about that. There are people you can talk to. A guidance counselor for instance. Or the principal. Just writing them off as not understanding isn't productive I think. I think that they are there to help their students, and if you outline how much this situation has been bothering you, they WILL work with you to alleviate the situation. As for what I think.. Well I understand how the stresses of home can weigh you down. And I'm sure the realization that your father was a cheater made you lose faith in a lot of different things. We grow up thinking our parents are so perfect, so it is a rude awakening indeed when we finally discover they are not. Find someone to talk with about this.. Face to face. I think it would help.
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