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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I broke up with my boyfriend 4 months ago, and I've finally forgotten him, recently, (2 months ago) I started taking yoga classes to help me getting relaxed and to get to know me better, and it's really helping me, but the problem is that I have a huge crush on my yoga instructor, and i really don't know what to do, I think that he is like 10 years older than me, but thats not the problem because i've always liked guys that are a little bit older than me, the problem is that i know literally nothing about him, but his name, i don't know if he is married, or if he even have children! and of course if i discover that he is, i'll totally stay away from him, but until then, the only thing that i do day and night is thinking about him, i really feel that he is my soulmate, i can see it in his eyes, feel it in his energy, but i'm just too shy, and i've only spoke to him like 2 or 3 times, and only about the classes. I know what you're thinking when i say "yoga instructor" but it's not like that, i'm not attracted to his body at all, he is not the typical trainer, he has not muscles (in fact, he is a little bit overweighed), i'm in love with his soul, with his energy, with his voice, with his peaceful presence. What should I do? Thank you very much and sorry for my english!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2013): Your English is fine (better than most actually), but you could do with some capitalization at the beginning of sentences. :-)Now, for the heart of the matter. You declare that this man is your soulmate. At the same time, I read the following things in your letter:"i know literally nothing about him""i don't know if he is married""i've only spoke to him like 2 or 3 times, and only about the classes"It is very unlikely that this man is your "soulmate". You need to get a better grip on reality here. Saying "my crush" is fine, but "my soulmate" is not. You don't know anything about him.Take a step back from this. Try not to create something that is not there (you are only setting yourself up for disappointment).If you have such a big crush on this guy, have an extended conversation with him, about something other than yoga. You'll have to get over your shyness in the process.Keep your expectations low, as you really don't know anything about him. He could be married or partnered up in some way. Maybe he is a real jerk when he is not in class projecting "energy" and a "peaceful presence"? You just really can't say one way or the other at this point.
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (18 August 2013):
People always fall in love with their teachers; there is some sort of chemical reaction that happens when you learn that triggers those feelings.
So, him being your soul mate when the only thing you know about him is his "manner" is obviously highly unlikely.
So if I was you I'd try to keep those soul mate expectations out of the equation. Just tell him you love the classes and you were wondering if he'd like to go out to lunch sometime.
Feeling nervous and afraid of rejection is normal but something you'll have to get over if you ever want to take control of your life.
Btw your English is great.
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